I admit defeat. I have to and it only took me 2 months and 6 days to make such announcement. I admit now that it is extremely hard to juggle work, studies and social life. I am so used to saying 'Yes, yes and yes' to all kinds of hang outs with family and friends and I have been learning or more like adapting to the 2 letter word, 'No'. It's either a 'No' or its an 'I don't think I'll make it on time' Pfttt. Actually, I was free up until 2 weeks ago since the new engagement has started.
One minute you're thinking about the workload, then suddenly, you catch a glimpse of something that will remind you of your exam. Then wait until you go to your client's cubicle to beg for documents and you'll see a picture of them with their family displayed on the desktop and your mind goes 'When are you gonna have THAT displayed on your laptop?' And of course, you will forget about the work AND exam. Hahahaha. Loser.
One thing for sure now, is that I am not fidgety anymore when the clock strikes 5.30pm because I can never go back at that particular time anymore. I will just look at the watch and say 'Oh, its only 5.30pm' and my mind will calculate the hours left before I can go back. Everyday, I wake up with the same thought asking myself why am I doing this when the rest of the housemates are still sleeping and will only wake up at 9am to study. Why did I choose to do this? I can never actually put it down in words. Seeing your housemates sleeping while you have to go to work can be quite depressing actually.
But I came across this magical thought while I was on my way to go see Breaking Dawn, which by the way I think is really beautiful ;') I love Jacob but Edward and Bella are too sweet. So, back to my magical thought. I was thinking right, if suddenly Jacob asks me to marry him ( HAHAHAHA) I will say 'Yes' in a heartbeat forsho! BUT, I was thinking, will I stop working? And just let him take care of me for the rest of my life? What will I become? A girl who married a freaking hot guy, rich but no dream of mine? So, I figured, I actually want to be at least, successful in my own way.
In other words, I should not quit although sometimes, I think I really want to. Back to Breaking Dawn, I think I should do a marathon tonight. Watch all the whole Twilight Saga although a loyal reader of mine thinks its utterly stupid. Hey, I like it okay. Haha. Oh, remember how I've always wanted to work in the newsprint or journalism sector? I am actually auditing a company that is involved in that sector. God works miraculously, don't you think? I learn how things operate at a newsprint company but I still get to do what I love to do, both at the same time and one thing that I can say is that, I am glad I chose accounting. Although, I have to admit, auditors/accountants can be really boring at times and oh, nerdy also.
Sorry to blab on immaterial things. I wish I had better things to write about like holiday trips and such, but as for now, I have none but I'll be on study leave starting from 1st December until my exam date. That should be exciting enough right? Hehe hmm, okay. So the conclusion of this post is that, I don't hate my job but I don't love my job alright? Its in the middle. I like it. I don't cringe in the morning because I don't want to go to work. I don't mind going but it would be better if I can just stay at home and cuddle with my blanket and pillow. The team makes it better actually :)