Thank you, Govt.

Everytime I reach those precious ages like 16 and 18, I will always have that something special that will make me remember those years, accurately. I don't think I count my blessings enough for those magical things in life. When I was 16 years old, I asked my mom for a birthday party. I wanted a special birthday party to commemorate my 16th birthday, just like how they do it in the MTV Sweet16. HAHA. That party will always be my favourite party among all the parties I've had. And when I hit 18, let's not go there. Let's just say, I've seen the ups and downs of life. I've seen the highs and lows of life. I thought I had the world at my finger tips, and only to find out that I did not own the world when I turned 19. And now, 21. You are legal when you are 21. You get to do a lot of things when you turned 21. But this year, one great lesson that I discovered a few days ago, is that, hell, I don't want to get married when I hit 21 years freaking old. You know how you always say, 'Eiii, kan senang klu kawen je, takyah pkir ape dah' DEAD WRONG! I mean, if you have a child or two laa. It is hard. So, now. I shall enjoy my life, my single life with all the pleasures in the world. Other than that, I had a bumpy flight coming out here and that's the first time I've ever encountered with such turbulance. It was so scary that I think I had my life flashed right in front of my eyes and I only see the sad part of it rather than the good happy part. I see myself hurting over the psat years and I don't like that. My life is not all about sappy feelings. I don't wanna look back and think that, oh when I was 19, I got my heart broken and yada yada yadaaaaa. I want to be able to look back and see the happy faces of the people I love and care about. I swear at that particular moment, I was scared to death and I prayed really hard and can only hope for the best. God loves me enough to let me enjoy this life, still but there's another flight going back home. I am scared now.

Along with the face, he's a smart ass.

He posted that. He tu sapa lagi laaa, Ashton Kutcher laaa.

Climax!

Holidays are meant for you to clear up your brain a bit, and make it breathe for a while after a few hectic months but they are also meant for you to think about certain think deeply and wisely. I think about nothing, about nonsense things, about my so called future, my present life and so on. I think a lot, when I'm busy and I think more when I'm free. My thoughts can run freely and of course, wildly. I mean, not that kind of wild. Wild, as in it go to the future, and it can 'gostan' and connect to the past. Haha.

I wish I can say a lot of things here but a blog remains a blog. Sighhh

Colour.

To everyone its just a phase, to me its not. I know it's not a phase because I don't see any replacement.

I need more glue.

The last time I went, I went there to search for myself. Search for that little pieces that was left and I was trying my best to attach it back but back then, even when the glue is right in front of my eyes, I can't see it. I couldn't see it, because I didn't want to. Now, not only can I see the glue, I can see the gluestick, UHU, gam gajah and glue gun. I'm all attached to myself and this time around, when I go, I'll look after some other people, or some other kids. And I will try my best to not lose the kids. Haha.

Random Frandom.

Randomly writing. I like this holiday. This particular holiday. Randomly speaking. You are out of sight. Randomly thinking. I will be out of the country next Tuesday. Randomly. Given a choice to ever pick something that I truly want, I'd say I want a time machine. For now, I want a time machine to actually go forward because everyone says something will eventually happen in the future. Don't think now, think about the future later. Bring me to that 'eventually'. Bring me to that 'later'. Bring me there, take me there and I'll decide if ever I need to go further. Thing is, I am happy now. Happy as in, I am happy. Period. I don't need to explain why I am happy but frankly, I am and if you were to ask me, that maybe I can be more contented than I am now, I'd say yes. I can be much more happier than now, but I am happy now. I guess I can be happy by having certain things that I used to have but there must be a reason why things are the other way round isn't it? I am not here to clarify why I am happy but I guess by repeating the word 'I'm happy' indicates that I may not be happy as I think I am. HAHAHA. WHAT THE HELL AM I TALKING ABOUT?

Did you guys watch Killers? NOW THAT IS WHY I AM HAPPY!

Time Spent In KL

How my holidays went along in KL,

for most of the part, I remember Lukas to be part of it, very much. In fact, I met him first when I reached KL. He went back to Cape Town already. I miss you, Utas Apim! This time in KL, it feels like a real school holiday. I spent each minute with my family and I did spare some time with my friends ;)

My Last Night.

The clock striked 1am and I still don't feel like packing. To pack is one thing, but to pack for 3 occasions is exhausting, mentally. You have to figure out where everything is, the location of it, the reason on why you need/want to bring it, and to make sure that you don't leave anything behind. The fact that I am not ready to leave just yet, is not making things any easier. I spent almost 30 days, day in and day out doing nothing and truthfully, I don't regret any single minute of it. Everything was just laid back and nothing was in a rush.

We didn't really do any stupid thing this holiday. The most 'happening' thing we had done for this month is *drumroll* tengok wayang. That was it, and of course, the endless-almost-every-morning-trip-to-Kopitiam for breakfast. Oh, wait, the most 'happening' thing we did might be the hot air balloon but by the time we reached there, it was sooo pathetic. I woke up at 7am for nothing but sweats, sweats and more sweats but I met a lot of people there, so perhaps that's the good thing out of it?

But the most unforgettable event happened on Sunday night. HAHA. That will be something that I'll always treasure and miss ;) Ahhh, I better go and pack now, even though I don't feel like doing so.

If dreams come true at the very second you wished for them, then what's the point of even dreaming?

June stepped in, very quickly and I didn't get a chance to greet it properly. So, hello June, please be good to me. May wasn't that friendly but I hope May didn't pass its negativity on to you, alright. You see, I had to go through those bloody hell finals, an operation, a cancelled trip to London, and I don't know what else but those are the major things I can remember. I can look at it as bad things, or I can look at it as things that forced me to grow maturely, physically, emotionally and mentally, as much as I don't like it. So, please hear me out June and be nice ;)

My girls, my baby sister and I went out to see Lagenda Budak Setan in Alostar Mall today. We bought tickets a day earlier ( Thank you, Maisara and Kak Nuha ) since we thought that the queue would be too long, since its a Saturday but surprisingly, we were the first person to buythose tickets. Oh, surprise surprise. Haha. I read the book, or should I say the dictionary of Ahadiat Akasyah, back when I was in Primary School. Maisara influenced me to read a Malay novel and I thank her for that, but heck, I remembered nothing when I was watching the movie. Frankly, trying to capture thousands of pages and fitting it in a 2 hour movie is kinda hard, don't you think? You can't emphasize on every detail and of course, the results shall never be as satisfying as reading the fiction novel, word by word, but indeed, it was worth a try. The actors and actresses can act but except for one, but much kudos should be given to Que Haidar. HE CAN REALLY ACT! But if anyone wants to watch the movie again, I don't mind following them, again. Haha.

I hope I didn't give too much away. I didn't tell any of the plots kan? So that should be fine. We are left with about 30days before classes start again and I really want to do beneficial things, like reading a book that I don't understand so that I have to flip through the dictionary to get the meaning, or maybe Google it or BING IT! Haha. I really want to because I've been reading love stories all this while and I don't see how it will improve my static love life and so, I think I should read on non-fiction story like, biography or something. You know, so that I can improve my life, without having to find another party to get involved in it. HAHAHAHA.

Or maybe, babysitting perhaps? That should be beneficial yeah? I think so. Hehe.

This should do it now, I gotta sleep early, I'm waking early to go for breakfast with the seniors tomorrow.

Ps : Some people can see it too, so I am not the only one seeing this empty vision.

ASSurance.

Sometimes, I just have to reassure myself that I am fine, when I know I am not. Reassuring is tough when you've got no support. This is by far, the most boring holiday I've ever had. Probably it's getting better soon. Soon, or more like in 2 weeks.