I read somewhere that things in life can be divided into two; Things I can change and things I can't change. I agree and I should live by this mantra. 

So, last week, my car got broken into in the middle of the night and a few days later, my laptop got stolen at my aunt's house. Bear in mind, the car was smashed in Ampang and my laptop got stolen in Damansara. It's not like the thief had targeted me since the beginning of time. In my case, its just me having all the bad luck in the world, that week but I am glad I am not auditing any company right now, so basically, I am free right now with no urgent documents and such. Everything has been sent to the server but of course, there are a few documents that I need inside. Nevermind.. A police report has been lodged and just by sending in the report to the IT department, they will give me a new one. Alhamdulillah I didn't have to pay for it or anything. My aunt's house got robbed pretty badly. I hope the thieves find peace within themselves, for taking other people's things. People work hard to buy cars, houses, jewelleries and more and I don't know how the thieves can sleep at night knowing that they are living lavishly through other people's hardwork. 

But maybe, the things that were taken were never ours in the first place. I don't know. So maybe the laptop was never mind in the first place? Haha so, this is categorized as things I can't change. I just have to deal with it, patiently. However, I can change the way I look at it. Just be positive about it, I guess. 2012 is ending soon, wrapping the year in a very weird way. Not looking forward to 2013. I will be 24 years old. Old. That's old. Let's make a long post of 2012 shall we?

6 months later..

Last Tuesday, my car got broken into by one or two thieves at roughly about 12 to 6 in the morning. Haha this feels like as if I am writing an essay to be passed up to the English teacher in one hour. I know I am supposed to feel something about this incident but somehow I was quite calm about it. That morning, I woke up when my aunty's bibik shouted 'Min, kereta kamu kena pecah! Kenapa tak bangun lagi?' I obviously woke up late that morning, thinking that I had no work to be done, hence I can go in slightly later than usual. Jumped out of the bed, ran straight to my car without my glasses, pretending like as if I am not blind when in actual fact, everything was in a blurry mode. The window that was smashed was the one at the back, on the left side. I browsed through the car, everything was still at its place. Touch n' Go was there, my perfume was there, my P2 notes was there and my shoes was there as well. So what was missing? My old pink sweater. Perhaps, the burglar felt a bit chilly that night, that he or she needed my Pink sweater to keep him or her warm? Maybe. Or maybe, he or she loves pink? I guess so. I am just glad that nothing valuable when missing, alhamdulillah. My first thought that morning was, "Did I take out my laptop last night?" But of course I did. I love my work so much, that I'd cling to my laptop at all times. Hehe. Okay maybe not. 

The whole house was of course, in a chaotic mode, trying to figure out how did it happen and how to fix my windows. I called my father straight away then he asked me to go to Perodua and get it fixed right away and I did. Luckily it was not that expensive. In about 3 hours, my car got itself a brand new window and after lunch hour, I went to work as usual again and everything went back to normal. Apparently, the insurance will only cover your windscreen but not your side windows. I guess I was calm about it because I know I cannot do much about it. I just have to go fix it and just move on with my life. 

Manic Tuesday.

Keretaku kena pecah. Habis cerita.

14 days of unhappiness.

Is it possible that after 5 years of taking the course, I feel like I'm in the wrong course? 5 freaking years and still counting, still studying the same thing and I can't even understand a thing right now. Exam is in 6 days time and I can't concentrate thinking about work and when I'm working I think about failing the exam. Okay, lets start with one by one. First thing, about work. I don't handle stress well and that's not new but this time around, I'm just so stressed out. Going into my second engagement, I regret saying yes to it because, it is a big engagement. Many things that I need to know, that I need to remember and I am not even doing the big sections! I should have joined a smaller job in a smaller industry. At least, that way probably the pressure is not so high up the sky. I cried twice last week because I was so scared. Don't even ask me what was it that I am scared of, but when the seniors ask me questions that I don't remember doing, my knees will start to go weak and my ears becomes hot. At that point of time, if you were to ask me what is 1+1, I'll probably can't even answer it. Don't ask me why, I just don't know. All these are giving me daily headache, I hate waking up in the morning. I feel like quitting, all the time and I am jot even confirmed yet! Last week, I even googled 'Regret joining audit' and I am glad to say, after browsing through this anonymous blog, I slept happily that night. One of the comments was saying about 'How auditing made me turn to God'. LOL! Too funny! And another one was saying about how he has been working for 1 year and 3 months and still haven't grasped the whole idea of auditing and he has been passing unknown knowledge to his juniors. Hahaha. God, it feels good to know that I am not the only one. Currently, I feel like I am at my lowest point because last week, I screwed up at work. I always go back to the reason why I am there. I am working at an audit firm because I want to learn. I accept the fact that I am super slow, incompetent but I am willing to learn. Learning takes time I guess but, but I swear it doesn't help when the seniors know that you used to be an intern at that same particular company, thinking that you actually have a clue on what you're doing but actually, you still dont'. BUT they are really nice actually. I should thank my lucky stars that they don't mind teaching me from A to Z or maybe they do but oh well, I should just be thankful. But I have short term memories these days that I don't even remember what I learned last week, please don't expect me to remember things I did a year ago. Haih. I soooo need to catch up but at the same time, I shall not let it get to me. I want to quit.... I've been counting the weeks and I have 144 weeks to go. I'm starting to wonder how the hell did I pass my papers all these while and that leads to the ext topic, my exam. S many things to study, so little time. I know I should go and study now but I just can't. Head all over the place. I lost a kilo from all the nervousness that I went through in the past 2 weeks. Imagine in 3 years, how thin will I be.. Pooof! I'm gone.... I'll give it a year.. I just found out that I'm not a tough cookie. I just... I just don't want to be doing things that I don't like... I don't want to wake up on Saturday, hating life because its reaching Monday already because that's how I feel right now....