An old post.

"In checkered sarong, you came. You pulled a chair and lit up a cigarette.  You started chatting with my friends, who were once your circle of friends too. I sat there, trying to snap a mental picture for my own keepsake. Not every detail is worth to remember but this night, this one particular night happened, unintentionally. I barely talked to you, I was happier that way. It was a nice feeling knowing that you can talk to my friends like normal again, just as casual as before but this time, we stand on our own feet. Your foot was not resting on mine and my hands were not on your thigh. We were two separate entities. Not that we were ever as one. We barely made it there. Somehow, out of all the nights that we’ve hung out after everything has happened, this night bothers me, a lot. The feeling of normality and conformity suits the atmosphere of the night. I wonder what you were thinking that night. My mind went blank. I needed as much space as I could to store all the memories I could gather that night. I love seeing you with my friends. I feel like I am finally at home, with you."

Mercy.

I suppose, it's about time that I update about my work now since it a few days time, I'll hit my 6 months mile stone in audit. That is something, considering how much I hated it in the first few months. I don't hate it as much now, the feeling is just neutral. To be honest, I found the thing that I was so scared of and it was my manager. Ha ha ha. I don't know what happened along the way, maybe it was the my parent's prayers, God's mercy on me and so much more, that everything changed. Take note, I still think that audit is not for me but at least, work became bearable because of the people around it. No doubt, the nature of the work is still so hard for me. I've never done it in real life, ni pulak kan nak check keje orang. Anyway, I still feel like I'm the problematic associate. Haha I do the stupidest thing that anyone can do. For example, I can go into a meeting of 4 people, where everyone is staring at each other's eyes, and suddenly, my pen was running out of ink at the beginning of it. I swear these little things are so not funny at that particular moment but looking back at it now, my God..... 

Anyway, all I'm saying is,  I am still alive. That's all. Too sleepy to write an essay!