Raya is more than just an annual celebration.

Selamat Hari Raya, I wish to all the Muslims readers out there.

Blessed, that's how I felt during the last day of Ramadhan and the early days of Syawal. Blessed with loving family members, blessed with great and lots of food, blessed with the amount of Duit Raya I've gotten, blessed with all the laughters and joy we had over a few days. No, we didn't celebrate it in Batu Pahat or even Penang. I celebrated my first day of Syawal in KL and glad to say that we did that because that way, we didn't have to endure the long hours in the car while going through heavy + massive traffics on the highway. 

I see my cousins all the time, and as cliche as it may sound, meeting them during Raya is so much different. Everybody seems to be in a jolly happy mood and everyone will be talking, laughing and eating non stop. Probably because everyone is on a holiday, I reckon. We had a karaoke session last Raya, and this time we decided to catch a movie at the Cinema. The movie was so good, the HERO was just too good looking, I didn't want to leave him alone at the cinema. Haha. 

All in all, I had an awesome Hari Raya and perhaps, certain things that I didn't expect to happen, happened anyway. It was good stuff coming from other people, but I am just not too sure that the stuff coming out from my side, was as good, or probably as sincere. I hope I was at that time. Took me 3 hours to pull up some guts and hit the green button. It's been too long. Too long.

Anyway, Selamat Hari Raya again everyone :)

Happiness.

At one point of my life, I thought I could never achieve that. For me, it was an overrated word but only few could really tell what it was, or maybe just feel it and be content. I thought to be at that state, you need another person to complete the puzzle. That was my thought, mind you. Perhaps, 9 months back. I was under the pressure of needing the other half to make my life feel complete. Boy, I was wrong. Truth is, I can be happy on my own. I know I am much happier back then, but thing is, I am happy now, as well. I don't think of the things that could have been. No doubt, a year ago, life was exciting but it consumed a little too much of me. I carried my name all around town, but never did I live up to it. I had a body, without a soul. Now, I am a body, with too much soul. Hence, I learned that happiness is a word that only you, yourself can define with different meanings and definitions. Believe me, I was happy then but I am much happier now, on a different level of course. Just that I haven't made it to cloud 9. I hope some day I will because probably, that will be a much a higher degree of happiness.

A milestone.

For the first time, I am accepting the fact that everything will change at some point. Be it for the better or vice versa. Sometimes, we can't change a thing, or an event but we can certainly change how we look at it, but I doubt that we can change how we feel about it. What I can tell you is, I am still the same person that I am when I was 19 years old, 10 years old or maybe 6 but how I view things or think may be different. Bear in mind, the values I hold remain static.

Tonight, I reached my limit and I think, I need to really be more appreciative and take time to absorb things slowly. I neglect some of the things, or persons I really care about and deep down, I am so guilty, its just too much too handle. If only, I had taken the time, just a minute or two to sit down and have a conversation with a dear friend, who was in pain, probably, I wouldn't be sitting here, spilling out my guilt in sentences. My heart would be at ease, knowing that I took a tiny portion of my daily hours to just create conversations, a meaningful one.

I learned something new today. I learned that I need to reciprocate more and I will. Pardon myself, I haven't reached 21 yet.

With sincerity, of course.

Holiday season kicks in, AGAIN! We really need to count our blessings on the amount of holidays that we get each year, or even month. I know I am :)

But of course, along with the holidays, assignments will tag along, excessively.

And gatherings, be it family or friends. I love gatherings and all, don't get me wrong but having to go from one place to another, is sometimes, a hassle.

But this special time drops by only once a year in the calendar, so why not make the most out of it?

Apart from that, everything else just kinda falls into place, perfectly. I'm loving it, Alhamdulillah.

Anything else? Oh yeah, I dreamed of Hilary Duff last night. Haha.

And of course, Selamat Menyambut Ramadhan for the last few days :DD