Let's go, 2010.

I learned that effort pays off as well as laziness.

I learned that there are many kinds of fights. Some fights will just brush off, for example between a mom and a daughter. Some fights will take some time to cool it off with efforts from both parties, for example, two best friends. Some fights are just mend to break things off, for example, one friend who doesn’t care and one who does.

I learned that it is a big world out there and most of the time, you have to be a team player and classes now, are teaching you that and that means that you have to be professional enough to push aside anything. Anything.

I learned that big events are hard to plan. Even daily events, like where we are having dinner is hard to decide. Haha.

I learned that when you take things for granted so much, the next thing you know, that thing will just be gone and that’s when you will realize that you needed it so much.

I learned that when we are walking up the stage to receive your diploma, that's just one of the highlighted moments of your life.

I learned that you can not like a person, but you can eventually love that person, so much, without realizing it.

I learned that happiness cannot be built upon other people’s unhappiness.

I learned that you can just not care. Just don't.

I learned that I don’t want 5 kids anymore.

I learned that I still want to study abroad. I still do, badly.

I learned that I won’t have that chance, at least not now.

I learned that even though I adore Sophia Bush and Taylor Swift's songs, Hilary Erhard Duff is still #1.

I learned that God is Great and everything above great because He works miraculously in His own magical ways.

I learned that living outside is quite tough and scary at times.

I learned who my true friends and foes are and my family will always be there by my side.

I learned that I could actually love animals.

I learned that short holidays can help you sort things out but not solve them.

I learned how to use Blackberry rather than just Nokia, since I am a loyal Nokia user since I am 14.

I learned and actually understood the term ‘Forgive and Forget but not that I can actually forgive and forget easily.

I learned the real reason on why I decided to stay at where I am staying now, and not at the planned venue.

I learned how to drive in KL.

I learned to appreciate my time away from home and vice versa.

I learned that when someone hurts you so much, there will come a point where your heart will listen to your mind and follow its instruction because your mind will ignore the pain and then you realise that, after all, that was what you needed. Anything but mere pain.

I learned that patience and sincerity are the virtues in life.

I learned how to cook more dishes.

I learned that some people doesn't get that his actions and words may affect how I feel or how I think.

I learned that I LOVE SLEEPING SO MUCH, nothing else matters.

I learned that I actually want you to know how much I love(d) you.

I learned that there are two types of friends. One where you can talk to for long hours, even after having no conversations for so long and one where you just lost touch and it ends there. Eg, I can still talk to Aiman after 3 years of not seeing each other but I wonder how it is with you.

I learned that we are the same, me and mom.

I learned that even though I have had massive list of accomplishments this year but the downside of this year overruled those happy moments.

I learned that life is a game but it's not fair.

Blearghhh.

I am here to wrap up 2009 and welcome 2010 because I can proudly say, though I got what I wanted, 2009 is still a crappy, sucky year.

Satu Dua Tiga. Satu Satu.

2009 is coming to an end and I am having second thoughts about everything. If I were to reflect everything that I have been through this year, it's like I am reminding myself that this is bittersweet year but in a way, I can thank it for making me the person that I am today. 2009 is not just another year, it's not just another 365 days. It is more than that. I got everything that I have ever wanted, be it physically, mentally, spritually or materially but indeed the most powerful treasure that I gained is absolute experiences. I still have a few more days before I wrap up this memorable year. Memorable. That's the word. Many things happened, but nothing as significant as, ahh I can't find the courage to even type it here. Nothing as significant as.............. HAHA. In 3 days, many things can happen. Even in one day, many things can happen. I'll try to wrap up a year in one post later. TRY is the word. Uhhuh.

ps : After 3 years of not seeing you, and just one hour conversation about everything, really gave me the things that I needed to hear. If it happens, it happens. If not, I am fine with it. Yes.

FREEDOM

My bags are all packed, waiting to be loaded into the car,
My phone is fully charged, to keep me company for the next five hours,
My eyes are just waiting, waiting for the perfect time to shut it off,
My brain is capturing every single moment, of this comfy place of mine,
My tummy has been filled with yummy pancakes,
My ears, are hearing something.
Oh right, mom asked me to shut down this laptop and actually take a bath.

Oh kay, KL here I come. I can smell freedom from here.

Madre.

Oh hello Mother. I think you are/will be reading this right. Just so you know, it is any daughter's worst nightmare to have their mom read their blog, especially when she has been pouring her heart out here. HERE. Anyway, takkan nak undo kan everything. Rasa nak delete blog? YES! Haha. Takpe la , baca laa.

It's about time....

I could go back to every laugh
But I don't want to go there anymore and I
know all the steps up to your door
But I don't want to go there anymore
Talk to the wind, talk to the sky
Talk to the man with the reasons why
And let me know what you find

I could stand up and sing you a song
But I don't want to have to go that far and I
I've got you down, I know you by heart
And you don't even know where I start
Talk to yourself, talk to the tears
Talk to the man who put you here
Don't wait for the sky to clear

I could go back to every laugh
But I don't want to go there
anymore..

Thank you, Taylor Swift for such wonderful song lyrics.

Stop smiling.

I was browsing through the Internet and found a line where it said ' We all want to be the Cullens"Is it? Cause I would die to be one of the Scotts. Cullens are cool but Scotts sounds better. Cullens sounds antique but Scotts sound more, homey. Haha. Holidays are the time for you, for me to discover the unknown and go bonkers. I am in front of the computer, playing bubble spinner, or any other bubbly games, reading fan fiction, downloading some songs, blogwalking, twitterring, checking out the latest gossip, watching anything I can find online but truly, my heart desires only one thing. To be with Hannah and Yana and Bella in London, gossiping because just by using a device called handphone, is not enough. Haha. At least, I know I have got friends with me, all the time. Mom is soooo annoyed with me right now, I can tell cause she'll be talking to me and I will be giggling with my phone cause someone just BBM-ed me the most stupidest thing. HAHA. ( ) ( ) bingo. But like I said, I know I have got friends to back me up, to put sense in my head, to remind me things like stop being so bitchy and cheer up. Cousins to tell me funny things at 3am in the morning. Cousins to make me smile with the sound of their laughter. Cousins to take me out for dinner and movies. Friends and cousins that have the same level of craziness and bitchiness. They stop me from being miserable. I think I will just die without my family and friends. I don't know what I am without them. Like now, I am so bored I can eat my feet off cause no one is at home, and it's only 3 o' clock if nak kluar panas sangat. A friend of mine just got back from Aussie and she is MEGA funny okayh. I mean MEGA. What I am trying to say here is, if anything were to happen, I have got friends to back me up, to tell me what is wrong and what is not. So that I don't do things that are so stupid that people would label me as crazy. Haha. I need a break from all of these. Oh 2010, please be a good year. I am begging you. I need to get my new glasses. It is very prettttttyyyyy. Haha. I feel like dying my hair. I feel like what else? yeah, I want to go to a new university outside of Malaysia, can ah? I still do, very much. VERY VERY MUCH.

Black & White.

This is my last week at home.
I better cherish it and,
Not make a sad sappy story next semester.
Lalalalalala.
I feel like taking a shower,
I feel like playing bubble spinner,
I feel like posting something that I am not supposed to.

Lappy, where are you?
I miss you, lappy.
When can I have you back?
I have my everything in there, including things written in black and white.

Tiga Sekawan.

I am a happy camper, indeed.
This beats playing bubble spinner from 10.30pm to 2.30am.

OMG!

One Tree Hill is on a break, till 18th of January.
What the hell am I suppose to do until then?
Oh well, re-run of past seasons lah!

18 more days.

It is already 17th of December and I am left with, wait, let me count, 18 days before classes start, and that is if, classes begin on the 4th of January. A new year, a new beginning. Insya Allah. As much as I can't wait for 2009 to end, lets not forget that whatever that has been happening in 2009 will be carried forward to 2010. It's not like, okay, 2009, I am leaving you behind. The memories will always be in mind, be it good ones or the bad ones. Everyone is going back already to their own places. Berkobar-kobar kawan-kawan aku ni hah nak belajar ye. Haha. Sampai ada yg dah tnye code subject suma. Haha. I am not wrapping up 2009, not just yet. 18 days, banyak lagi bole jadi. Ramai lagi orang nak kawen. Ramai lagi orang nak jumpa betol2 before start class. Banyak lagi benda tak settle. Okay, so 2009. Don't let me down at the very end alright. As much pain that you have caused me, I'll take it as a good thing. Building me up. Cherishing all the good friends that I have. Making me think that every seconds count.

After a while...

Today was extraordinarily FUN ! teeheeee

Mom let me out the whole day. So, I had a very late lunch with my friends at Pacific.

Everyone had laksa but me.

Later on, she picked me up and we went to school.
Sultanah Asma School (2002 - 2006 )
Haha


She wanted to do a photoshoot for our beloved school and the brass band members
but too bad that the kids were on a break,
so all she got was the pictures of their instrument.
If you guys are free on the 17th up till 19th of this month,
do check them out at the KLWMBC and MBC ( i think )
My school is the BOMB.
I'm not even kidding.

Then, we went for a tour around Alor Star
and
bought those bubbles thingy
and
had fun with it!
until Alip came and popped my big balloon!
and
I chased him around the yard
and
found out that I could run really fast when I am furious.
Haha.

This is fun but someone has got to study for her exam.
Haha.

Dinner was fun as well.
I had nasi lemak with Kuyah, Sarah, Lisa, Nadia and Aina, Najwa and Wan for like 3 minutes.

Today was nice, fun, light and easy.
Thank you ;)

ps : Happy 18th Birthday baby brother.

Who is Angelina?

Do you know that you are insanely pretty and this picture is just perfectly adorable?
Do you know that I salute you to the core with how you handled your divorce?
Do you know that your raspy voice is extremely sexy?
Do you know that your so called birth defect is your most attractive physical trait?
Do you know that I am disappointed that you got limited screen time for Season 7?
Do you know that I feel like flying off to Wilmington just to watch how they shoot One Tree Hill?
Do you know that there is a thread made in the OTHforum just for you and Austin Nichols?
Do you even know that I wish I could be someone strong like you, or at least like Brooke Davis?


;Strong would mean,having the courage to leave when I am supposed to
;Strong would mean,having the courage to put on a cold shoulder.
;Strong would mean,having the courage to ignore it even when it is in front of me.
;Strong would mean,having the courage to push away anything and not cave in.
;Strong would mean,having the courage to detest anything that comes along my way.

;Leave when I was hurt the first time, not the second, not the third, and now it is like the Nth time.
;Give a cold shoulder when I am spoken to and listening to the whiny crap about the other side.
;Ignore it even when it is clearly obvious what they are trying to portray in front of me.
;Push away those sweet talk and not cave in when I heard the word, SORRY.
;Detest anything. I MEAN ANYTHING even when it is in my way, in my road.

ps : Angelina Jolie came by to check on Jennifer Aniston's house with Brad Pitt. COOLIO 0-0

I am a bitter person now when it comes to this. Not even emotional anymore.

I am not Angelina Jolie. THANK GOD ;)

I'd be rude if I didn't say WELCOME!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

It's like you sprinkled some cherry, hot fudge, hot caramel and to top it off, loads of whipped cream on my icy vanilla sundae! THANK YOU!

What a way to end my horrible year ;)

Dah terduduk baru tau sakit.

10th of December. I wasn't that keen to know about my results neither was I anticipating it. Like I said, I don't care anymore. I just don't. I wasn't scared with the fact that I didn't study as hard as I used to. I just dont, just because. I was fine with it, but my parents were not. Mom said I ruined my own personal record and Dad asked me to extend my semesters so that I don't have to take up to 8 subjects per semester. I think I failed in the sense of making my mom proud because one thing for sure is, the next convocation will not be the same anymore. I can still remember vividly, her face on my last convocation. I am sorry mom and dad. I just can't bear the thoughts that I have let them down because they gave me everything that I need. Now I feel a tiny bit of regret because why can't I accomodate to their wants when they have given me everything that I need? Arrrghhh.

But the thing is, I am fine with it. Is it okay for me to be fine with it? I will work hard next semester. I promise. In fact, I have bought new curtain for my room in Shah Alam to replace the green/white curtain. The new one is Pink. I think, indirectly, it will boost my spirits to study harder. Kasi Feng shui sket. Haha. Pfttt.

Btw, I would like to say, "You have tasted your own medicine,Jasmin Anis and you know how bitter it is," and Congratulations Mysara for getting the results that you truly deserved ;) I am proud and happy because I know how it feels like to get such results.

Okay, dah bole move on. Takyah cakap psal results. There's nothing interesting about it. Bottom line is, I didn't fail any subjects and I am okay with it ;) Peace.

Not even the moon, just one star.

Someone posted something useful on Twitter today.

"Jangan asyik meminta jika tidak memberi,"

It is a simple fraction of words but I assume the meaning that lies behind it, is quite deep because as much as you deny it, it is true. We should learn to reciprocate more, with the other human beings in this world. Or should I say, I should learn to reciprocate more in my every day life. I feel like ever since everything that has been happening, I feel like I have become this selfish person who protects herself from being taken for granted by anyone, I mean, anyone, even the person I love most in the whole wide world. The holiday is about to end, I am looking for ways to fix this. Fix this mess. Fix myself. It has been horrible. I hate arguments and fights. They lead you nowhere. This phrase is simple. It's just like why expect for a 4.0 GPA, if you study sufficiently for only 3.0? How can you expect a forest when you only grow a tree? What did you even dream about getting a Chanel handbag when you only save up for a Guess handbag? Why ask for God to grant you miracles when you hardly seek for his forgiveness on a daily basis? Get it?

I am not even asking for the moon. I am just asking for equality but I guess for now, I just have to deal with the fact that life is unfair. DEAL WITH IT, jasmin anis.

Here comes the....

Seriously, this is one hell of a good looking 3 month old boy. Big round eyes, cute little mouth, nice skin, cool hair and as a bonus point, he is a good baby that only cries when he is hungry and will smile when you tease him and talk to him. Say hello to Ferhan Elan. I'm sure he will break many hearts when he is a macho boy later. Haha.

As you can see, other than baby sitting and watching new moon again, last night, I have been doing nothing much. I haven't been strolling around the mall and I haven't met any friend while I'm here. Though, I saw The Angel, reading his book at Kinokuniya. Out of all the people I could have met, I swear that was the sweetest gift I could get this holiday. Haha.

What else is so interesting this holiday? Nothing is actually.