The 10000th day of going to class.

Cool morning breeze.
Cold morning shower.
Messy bed and wrinkled shirt.
Hot iron with tangled strings.
Fresh radio sound and clear morning news.
Baby steps on the stairs.
Roaring sound of the engine. 
Heavy traffic with hungry student.
Hopeful heart,scouting for that one spot.
There's no parking spot left.
You day ends there. 
Back to the messy bed, sleeping with your wrinkled shirt,again.

#goodbyeonetreehill

One can do so much.
One can think so much.
One can laugh so much.
One can cry so much.
One can sleep so much.
One can eat so much.

But can one study,love and pray too much?

Adamant.

Definition found after two seconds of typing it on Google ; Refusing to be persuaded or to change one's mind.

In this case, its the heart. Not the mind. Adamant. Adamant. Adamant. The fourth time that I'm repeating this, it looks like Adam + Aiman = Adamant. Okay lame joke but if you say it out loud. Ay-de-men. Right? Haha. Adamant. Swear I don't know why I am so adamant about it this time around. Hard as a rock, adamant as it is. 

Dum dum dum.

               This is how she looks like right now, or even bigger now :)

11th of November, I just missed it.

12th of November 2011.

There goes my chance of writing something on a very beautiful date that comes only once in a hundred years. I spent the whole day complaining about my neck. I reckon it is due to the long hours of sitting in front of the laptop and the wrong sleeping position. I was too tired to care about the way I sleep. A bed. That's all I need. Other than that, I spent the half of the day in front of the laptop again, typing out my report of JIT(puke blood), mocking other people on Twitter and when the night arrived, I went out with my Mom and my sister. Later, I hung out with a few friends and came back home, straight to the laptop again. As I am describing this, I feel like I am a dork. 

Coming back to a comfortable surroundings, there's nothing more lovely than this. At the beginning of my holiday, my parents made the decision to put a stand on my future. Oh yes, you read that correctly. My future but they are willing to sponsor me, so it just became our future. Haha. I don't see the reason why I should oppose to such wonderful idea. I get to touch, smell and read more books in the next one and a half year. Decision has been made. I shall only follow. Its a bonus points for me actually. I can postpone any thoughts about the future. Just delay off the important things. 

But of course, things come with its own pros and cons. I might be jealous when my friends can spend their own hard earned cash and here I am, I have to ask my parents for everything, still. Ah, this is all still in the planning and I hope God will bless this simple plan of mine and make everything easy, or at least bearable for me to go through. 

Grow up, that's the only way to go.

It's the holiday! It's the holiday! Yea, one can keep chanting, only to find out that its already the 4th day of the holiday! We are left with only 5 day and tonnes of assignments to be done. YIKES! Pushing that serious matter aside, I hope it's not too late for me to wish Selamat Hari Raya Aidil Adha to all the Muslims out there, be it in Malaysia, or anywhere else in the world, especially to those who are performing their Hajj. They are lucky enough to be there :') 

My family tradition on my dad's side regarding Raya Haji is a bit lighter, compared to my mom's side. We don't really comply to any tradition, food may be served differently every year, sometimes we get duit raya, sometimes we don't, and you can not wear baju kurung on the day itself. It's normal. At least, I think it is. But one tradition remains the same, whereby the village will always hold its annual korban celebration. I've been watching cows get slaughtered ever since I was small. I would go and see it live and back then, I wasn't so afraid and scared to see such things. Probably because I was young and careless. Now, I am not young and I care-more. True story, sad story. 

Raya Haji is actually about sacrifices. What kind of sacrifices do you make? What kind of sacrifices have I made? Not an easy list to fill up, not an easy matter to think of. I sacrificed my wants, for others needs. Sure, I can say that but what have I done? I sleep less these days, to make way for more studying? Pfttt. Well, I sacrificed my sleeping time in class, to make sure that I listen in class and not to offense the lecturer by sleeping. Haha what kind of sacrifice is that? 

To be honest, I've got other things on my mind lately. Probably I shouldn't write it, I know I shouldn't but I guess we are all big enough to face our problems, rather than sweeping it under the carpet and the dusts keep on accumulating. Bullying, and I mean, any kind of bullying. I am the second child, out of four and the eldest one is a brother, a 26 year old brother. Bullying, teasing and fooling around are normal in my upbringing. True. My brother calls me Gemok, Kerinting, Maggi and all other stuffs since I was small. I am offended by it? Sometimes but if I were to take it seriously, what's the fun of it? So, I just take it as a way of to communicate. Of course we don't go by everyday by saying, Oh, I love you brother. I love you sister. Dushhhh. No way but I guess by him teasing me, its enough to let me know that he cares. Weird. So now, the table is turned. He's fatter than before. So I call him fat. He gets really offended by it. The same goes to my little brother. Both of them are men. Not just boys. They gained a few kilos and muscles can be seen everywere. Fat, too. For them to be calling me fat, that's fine. For me to be calling them fat, that's an insult. PFTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT! 

Many other things that have been happening around me lately. Things that I cannot comprehend. Things that when I look back, I cannot connect the dots, somehow. It doesn't jive. You bully other people, that's fine but when it is your turn to be teased and bullied, you sulk all the way. Bullying is wrong, not matter what but sometimes, its a way for us to be close. It has always been that way. I guess certain lines of limitations ought to be drawn and sometimes, we do cross the invisible line. This is a very subjective matter. What hurts me, might not hurt you. 

Serious matter. I hate it when I am being bullied especially by this certain someone. The mop is calling me. Chow!

When reality and fantasy don't mix well.

With that small brain that we are all given with, I bet all of us have this perfect life that we have created inside it. I did create one, I still have it inside my brain but I know, all I can do is imagine, plan and pray that it all goes according to plan. My definition of a perfect life doesn't mean that I go through it with no obstacles but I hope to face those obstacles and make it on time for the next plan that I have made ahead. A concept that is hard to comprehend? Yes, but I bet some people do get the gist of what I am saying. 

Lately, the topic about who do you want to be after you graduate has been lingering on every one's mind. Of course. You can't run away from this topic. You can delay it, by saying you're going to further your study again, by taking professional papers and such but when you're done with it, aren't you suppose to face the reality and start to think about your career? Unless, you're from a well-off family, money is no problem, and your parents are willing to support you till the day you die. But for most of us, we don't get that kind of privilege. Cold hard fact about reality. I don't hate auditors. That's a fact. Do I admire them? I do. Do I want to be like them? I do. Do I have the guts/courage/strength/such characteristic for me to even think that I can be one? I don't think so. Do I want to be a banker? I kinda like the idea of me being one. A businesswoman? Yea, I've been toying with the idea for a while. I want to work with a telco company right? Or any GLCs? Well, am I even qualified enough to be accepted in that society?  With all these question in mind, I think I should just continue with my professional papers.

This topic sucks. Of course. But  at the end of the day, I guess its just about who will accept you in their firm. I can tell you my ambition, my career path that I have planned out in detail but what if the company that I want to work with rejects me? So, my back up plan is to go back to my previous internship company but what if, they doesn't want me there? Oh my, I wonder where is my instinct at times when I need it. So, at the end of the day, its not so much about what you want isn't it, but its about what you'll get.

Just like in choosing a guy. You can list down all the physical characteristics, social attributes and personal skills that you want but when the right guy comes along, all you can do is just cross everything off from the list. I like guys with facial hair, straight hair, speaks good English, fair, dark features, jaw line, not calculative, someone that will be approved by my mother but then...... I don't think the guy that I like has any of these characteristics except...... but yea, the list is out of the window. Erm, this is out of the topic isn't it? Is it even related? Hahaha.

I was just in the mood to write. So, might as well put everything in one post. Sakit otak pikir pasal masa depan. Especially uncertain future. At least its something that you can work on.. Improve yourself. Oh, time to hit the books. Minggu depan exam. Haha. 

Be there, be here.

Sometimes when a friend needs to talk to you, she just wants to talk. Sure, some would want you to voice out your opinion on that matter but most of the time, if she doesn't ask for it, then she just wants you to listen to it. She just wants you to lend her your shoulder just in case, she needs to cry. Sometimes, by you saying something you may be provoking it. Maybe. Don't say hurtful things just to get even. Have some mercy. I'm just saying.

She's very beautiful.

One says go North,
One says go East.
I am going up.

October, you were awesome last year.

So many things to say, I have no idea where to start. So, I guess by posting this picture, I can summarize things up. So, its obvious now that I fancy guys with a little bit of facial hair. Just some facial hair. Not body/chest hair. So, I think I should start writing serious matter now. So, I'll move on to the next paragraph now. 

One month into my final semester, things have been moving awkwardly slow. Other classes are complaining how busy they are and we can still run to the cinemas and karaoke lounges for some movies and singing actions.  I guess it is how you manage your time. Kekeke. Or maybe not. It all depends on which lecturer do you get this semester. As for now, I am thankful for the timetable and the lecturers that we got for our classes, except of course, for one particular lecturer that teaches one of our core paper *cough killer paper cough*.

And oh! The most important thing that I would to share here is...... the lifts at the Faculty are mostly under maintenance, hence the morning-stairs-climbing activity in order for you to get to class on time. It's a good cardiovascular exercise I reckon but frankly, if one wants to do it, one would have done it with a proper attire like sweat pants and sports shoes. Not slippers, cardigans and 7.9kilograms worth of Audit and Strategic Management colourful and cheerful notes. Oh, you noticed the sarcasm. Pardon myself. I am just annoyed with the fact that I am jumping from reading class to another one but of course, sometimes, the calculator made its appearance and of course, on the days that the calculator is needed, I forgot to bring it to class. Thus, I am still not a satisfied student. 

What else can I complain? Nothing much I guess. Life has been fine, with a few glitches, here and there of course.

Have a good weekend everyone. It's short but it doesn't mean you can't stretch it out :)