More Of You

to make it less serious.

Not that i don't wanna talk about it, but somehow, knowing that people are reading this, i don't feel right. I'm not saying it in a prasan mode but in a cautious mode. More than anything else, i want to write about it. As a closure. I need an ending for it. It has ended like way way way before but...... I don't wanna be the one still talking about it and later, being the one who can't actually move on. You tell me something, how can you move on when the things that you're trying to run away from, is standing right in front of you? They are not chasing you, but they are just in front of you. Try to be in my shoes and let me know how you feel. Anyone for that matter. I thought everyone got what they wanted but i actually doubt that. I seriously don't know whether i got what i wanted or not but for now, all the signs that i have been asking from God, has shown me, whatever it is that is necessary for me. The signs are good enough. Whatever it is, in between us, there will always be a line. A line that you sketched nicely after a perfect night and i did the honour of making it permanent, which i think is the best for us. So that no one can say that I'm trying to take anyone away from anybody. I know where i stand and i stand no where near you. Remember the line. I have no intention to bash anyone right now because if i do, i'll be at the same level as you are. I'm just letting go whatever is necessary for my healing process, which by the way is a long and painful process. There was never a day that goes by where i don't think about it. They say you should hold on to the good and nice memories, but then you'd ask yourself, if the memory is good and nice, why can't they be made again? Why can't you re-enact them again? Then comes the main reason for it. The main reason. Yeah, the main reason for it is still the #1 factor for everything. You'd say no, I'd say yes and we both know it is and that's the damn truth. I am being a grown up and i don't wanna be all mushy mushy about it. Just give me more time and space. Let's leave the past behind. Don't think that i am not ok. I am more than fine. I am up and happy all the time. Nothing bothers me like before just that sometimes, i have my good days and my bad days. Anyways, I just can't wait to balik Alostar and meet up with ALL my friends.

ps: Urbanscapes was awesome. And i feel like a sore loser for typing all this out and i don't feel like posting this but.........it's my blog kan. HAHA