A note to yours truly.

"I passed by the road that leads me to your house and once upon a time, my hands used to shake and shiver, my stomach felt like its gonna blow out and my heart, my heart was in my throat. I drove along that stretch of road again tonight and all that was gone. No shiver, no nothing. One thing that I know is, if I ever go forward, I move forward. I don't go backwards but sometimes I can make an exception but let me know if I need to make any. For now, I know I don't but who knows what will happen later in the future. A heart with no passion feels like an empty heart but they say a broken heart is a heart that has felt the intensity of love, perhaps. I can't always count on what 'they say'. I need to know what I say. I say there's no more you and I hope I am right, for now. I keep using the word for now because I don't control the future. If I were to be the one who is holding the controller, you and I would have always stayed together. I don't have to go through stupid drama. That, is if I had the controller. I don't. This feels like a letter to you. Oh well, I have so many letters that were never sent to you. Do you want to read it? Or will you ever read it? Read them? I have plenty of them. I can even number them according to numbers or simply according to title. I think you will not read them, or even read this. So I feel safe posting this. If ever I were to see you again, I don't know what to say to you but I feel like saying, "Do you care to read one letter? One love letter? It's long and each meaning will hit you right inside. Do you dare to read that one letter? It's just one letter. No harm." No, I can't be saying that right? I won't. No worries. I feel free yet I feel cooped up. I feel strained by the time line, yet I know I still have a long way to go. Thank you for making me feel this way. You were the one who commenced this feeling, I think you should take the opportunity to end it as well. Obviously, this thing should stop here before I start to talk about things I shouldn't. This is normal. I am here, at home. I see the surroundings around me, and nothing else is significant enough to stay permanently in my mind and maybe, my heart as well, but you. To see the bright things in life, I'd say you had enlightened me to see that there's more to life that I haven't seen :) "