jesse mccartney looks like K

the title is true. ahha. im listening to jesse mccartney's song so it led back to the thoughts of the jerk. hey jerk, slamat hari raya! hahaha. kery2. i'll post a pic of him later la to show how good looking i think he is. hahahha. i admit, i fell for his looks rather than his attitude. his eyes are really beautiful. a jerk or not, that's somthing i can't ever deny. ape ni pg2 ckp psal kery??

i'm leaving for batu pahat in a few hours. since our family is the first one that will be reaching our kampung. we have lots of responsibility to do. its ok! its for raya. team spirit. hehe. can u tell i'm so excited for raya? haha. how can u not? food, family, and duit raya. good combination. its an excuse to go shopping. my mom is treating me like an angel i feel really bad. hehe. i am her only big daughter compared to athirah, which is her baby, uhhhhhhuhhh. haha. i studied last night which was quite incredible. i finished a chapter on revenue and more to go. i practically brought back all my notes which is nonsense. i will read one or two but not all. but the guilt i had to carry without the books are much more heavier. hehe. i called nana yesterday, they are all in as, so they went to the bzar, fun i guess ! i dunno.

i have to go now, my mom's back . SLAMAT HARI RAYA TO EVERYONE! maaf zahir and batin.

ps: happy birthday hilary erhard duff!

how are you today?

3 more days to syawal and i'm cleaning up everybody's house like it's my house. how i wish i could be at home and have gathering with my seniors. they are having buka puasa tmoro and they just informed me. if only i could be there guys. anyways, sarah, happy 20th birthday. a day away from hilary duff's birthday. unfair! i'm about to go to the hair salon. my mom has been shouting and nagging the whole day. i am up and ready now but she isn't. she wants me to highlight my hair since it's hari raya. but knowing my hair, its big and curly, if i were to colour my hair today, it will be there till the next 3 hari raya. haha. but i wouldnt change my hair for the world. i am having a break fast feast in bangi today. we can finally meet the new addition to our 'chomat' family. it's a boy! lukas hakim . its a rare event for us to have a boy in the family. the current ratio is approximately at around, 1:4 . four for girls, obviously. haha. i gtg now, or again, my mom will shout. ma, chill la. haih. she said i've been on her nerves all day long. i cant wait to push THE button and let her explode! how come she's fine with my two annoying brothers????

bridge over troubled water.

good morning everyone.
its 4.19am now and i am still not sleeping yet.the guy up there is keeping me awake. he posted new pictures in his myspace profile and i stole it for my own pleasure.
my mind is always filled with an image of kutcher that sometimes i think it's a sin.
to even think about a guy you have never met, its an unbearable sin but there's something about him that is so attractive ( i think so, keep your thoughts to yourself, thank you) that i can't resist

apart from my fantasy, back to reality, OUCH!
i'm doing terribly bad in my studies but no worries, i'm studying now.
paying my whole attention to the lecturers, uhhuh and doing all the works asked but i guess that's never enough if you don't pinch in a little extra effort from yourself. this week i tasted my own medicine and it was not tasty.

i think my blog is a bit boring nowadays since i'm not going through any emotional downturn.
i'm not complaining but it can be too bland at times.
i would like to exaggerate and write exciting things that has been going on with my life but unfortunately, there hasn't been any. i have accepted that the other half of human beings can be rather irritating at times, weirdo and they have their own mood swings, more than 'the other half' and , that simplified my life. though there are a few things that caught my attention lately .
i tend to care about other's a bit too much. say a person is going through a bad situation and clearly, it is beyond my power to mend it or say anything, i will feel bad and guilty for that person the whole day. if someone hurt a person , i'd feel bad for them as well. what do you actually call that? compassion is it? compassionate about others? i dont know. it's wrong to feel that way sometimes but i can't help it. it's my nature. cautious and paranoid. i dont know.
another things that has been distracting me in class is actually a game.
Quadrapop!
because of that devilish thing, i hardly talk to anyone or do anything.
it is so addictive and obsessive.
would love to stop but..............................................
hahaha.

keinginan merasa kehidupan orang lain

the title says it all.

i'm just asking for a day.

i dont know why.

it doesnt have to be a life of a superstar or a royalty.

randomly, anyone will do.

i just want to feel.

that's all.

to my baby sister.

i know you are reading this you little weasel! haha. i miss u very much, athirah anis.

a week more to go . cant wait for raya in batu pahat , johor this year. all the families will be there. I CANT WAIT! almost 50 cousins, 20 aunties and uncles, nieces and nephews and ONE grandma. hehe. we'll be sleeping together, eating together. aaaaaa, FOOD! major glue in attaching everyone, as always. this is my first raya in BP after several years. raya in KL doesnt exactly feel like raya because everyone doesnt sleep together the night before. no takbir raya ,no cooking together-gether, no gossiping, no Ramli, no playing UNO led by abg ader and mak nona and no cerita hantu. ahaha. i miss old times. lately, i'm hyper. i think so . no, i hardly get my caffeine. its just me. i dont know why. tomorrow will be the last day of class for ramadhan. but guess what, i have class till 10. i have double period of FAR. hmm, which class should i pick to sleep in ? haha.

yesterday, something happened. i take it as a wake up call for me to study. it didnt really hit me but the thought of failing again scares me, like hell. i have so much ambition that i don't think i would wanna let some crisis i had when i was in my part 3 during my diploma stop me from achieving it. study je la mcm tu. i have one month to go before finals and boy, i have lots to catch up!

i'll be meeting my mom this coming friday. i am thrilled but the fact that i'm not going back to AS is a bit sad because knowing my friends, they'll have a break fast gathering at the end of bulan Ramadhan when everyone is around but i can handle it. its ok. i can meet up with my family and that's the most important thing now.

pn ros is back . i HAVE to concentrate. she's asking us a question " how can you determine allowable expenses?" hmmm. i really dont know. hilary duff's 21st birthday's coming up. a few more days and today's ashton kutcher's 3rd annivasary with demi moore. its been that long huh?? i've been with him much much longer! hahahahah.

surveyy!

1 Whose picture is it that you keep in your wallet?
my friends, hilary duff, my cousins and a pic of me and abu! i should keep a pic of my family kan? hmm.

2 What time do you go to bed?
usually at 1am.

3 What was the last thing you did before filling this survey?
editting my BEL outline for my term paper with lynn.

4 Who's the one you always meet the most?
my roomates and coursemates which happened to be my collegemate and friends!

5 Who's the person you're gonna call if you need emotional help?
mama and my friends.

6 What's on your mind just now?
tomorrow i have no class until 8.30 PM at nite. hmmmmm.

7 what did you do last night?
i watched OTH and GG. it was very emotional.

8 With whom do you wanna have fun?
now would be my cousin. irena bosra pls. come back la.

9 When was the last time you went out to mall?
yesterday. one whole day.

10 What do you hate the most for now?
the fact that when i'm hungry, i couldnt care less about other things.

11 When was the FIRST time you slept alone?
when i was younger. xingat la.

12 What things do you want to do now?
fly off to somewhere.

13 What do you do everyday besides eat and sleep?
watch tv and talk.

14 Colors that make you happy?
pink, white and red.

15 Most favorite things for you?
my phone, my bed and computer.

16 What was the last thing you bought?
apples. haha.

17 Miss someone?
yess. a yeen, balik la cpat, gle!

18 Are you a coffee addict?
sometimes yes.

19 Are you satisfied with your life right now?
not really. i want to do some other exciting things.

20 Would you share a glass of water with a friend?
sure! why not?

21 When was the last time you ate seafood?
oooh. lame dah xmkn.

22 Ever had a food fight?
yes. haha.

23 What do you usually eat for breakfast?
roti canai and milo ais. sedap nye!

24 Lost a friendship over something stupid?
OH YES! bodo sgt.

25 Been really depressed before?
yes. been there.

26 What's your favorite food?
tomyam. mcd. steak.

27 Cried in front of your boyfriend?
nope.

28 Can you remember what you did on the first day of your school in high school?
i was with my friends ,especially my bestfriend' puteri the whole entire day, being stupid. hahaa

30 Did you ever cheat during an exam? erm yes.

get me out of here!

here i am , in PTAR, waiting for something magical to happen. its the 17th day of ramadhan. my father's birthday is on the 19th of september, which is two days away from now. my brother and i are trying to figure out what to get him but we haven't got a clue, AT ALL! nay! we'll get him a shoes, perhaps. my father has this really odd shoe size. 8 triple E. it can only be found in certain stores in the states, let alone here in malaysia. hmm, ssah laa. i had a shopping trip yesterday. i had fun but it was tiring like hell. cant complain though, it was my choice to go on a shopping spreeeee! later on yesterday night, i watched one tree hill and gossip girl episode 3. felt like i was in the US. haha. back to back episodes . hehe. *nathan is sooo HOT* nothing much has been going on lately. i'm not riding on any emotional rides. should be glad, i think. things are not messed up. good. many things need to be done, as usual and me, being jasmin anis loves to procrastinate. so that when the time is up, i'll be in rush and very kelam kabut. my head will be trapped in this massive headache, trying to patch things up here and there. but no worries. everything goes well as usual. hahaha. i wanna go for a swim la. in the ocean with the dolphins. hahaha. not. i dont like dolphins. cute but their skin bugs me. its very slimey and urmm, geli laaaa. haha. its only 11.27am and i'm freaking hungry, i can eat a cow. i was extremely bored today during LAW's tutorial so i was playing with my phone. i love buying quotes from MAXIS easy access. so, today, i bought one. it was pretty interesting.

here it is " A good friend can tell you what is the matter with you in a minute. he may not seem such a good friend after telling "very true isn't it. you wouldn't like it when someone can tell that something's wrong with you. the truth is always hard to swallow but then again, its the truth.

one hour away from my next class, i want to sleep

ps: it'd be nice if i can catch a glimpse of "heaven" today. hahaha. the appropriate location would be in front of the junction. god, i need a life. haha.
if only life can be bought from a sundry shop , 7-e and such. i will buy it! i will buy me, a life. an exciting life. in little cute pink packages. haha. but then again,if only.

21 years old on the 28th of september!

i wanna be in the middle of them. can i?

2 more weeks

its the second week of puasa and 2 more weeks to go before we're celebrating hari raya puasa. food, duit raya, meeting families and friends, holidaaaaaaaaaaysssss= FUN!

my friends and i had a little gathering with just 5 of us in KLCC. after a while not seeing them, it was good and refreshing. as usual, new things to share and gossip about. haha. i wanted to shop but i didnt find anything that i really fancy. i dont wanna buy things just for the sake of buying things.
i'm bored actually. thats not new. i am not in the moood today.

sometimes the heart wants whatever the heart wants. haihh. what i need now is a big great hug from my mom and i want her to tell me things will be fine soon and that i can go away next year to wherever i want doing whatever i want. *mommmmmy* god, i feel so low right nowwwwww.

ps: i like my old layout better. hihi

a little something something - KUTCHER alert.

Me , being jasmin anis, with a wild imagination, is so used to having dreams while sleeping but apparently, Ashton Kutcher rarely visits me in my sleep but one fine day, he did. hehe.

So, a few years back, I had a dream about Ashton. It was super real, as if it had really happened a few years back. Started with an evening atmosphere, Ashton wore red, again, the color that turns me on every single time.At first, we were in his balcony while staring at the nice view of his neighborhood .It was very green and peaceful. Trees were everywhere, leaves all around and people cycling and walking along the path walk. Next, he brought me outside the house . He showed me around the housing area with a few junctions here and there .It was a Malay neighborhood, indeed and not the typical American area. Just walking there with him, made my heart skipped a beat and at one point, it stopped .Literally, my heart stop beating and I was gasping for air, for no apparent reason, when all he did was held my hand tightly. He was so tall, magically handsome and good looking. A perfect creation of God. All I could remember was he smiled all the way and he did not let go of my hand, not even once. We didn’t do much though, except for walking around the little neighborhood and a park. One thing that caught my attention most was his mesmerizing, breathtaking smell. I personally think that he wore his perfume lightly but somehow, the intensity of the chemistry in his body blended well together with the scent and it still send shivers down my spines, just thinking about it. It was rather masculine with a touch of sweetness. Enough with the sweet smell already, I’m halfway shaking. Later on, we wanted to go inside one of the houses when suddenly, a familiar looking man appeared .It was my conservative father. Surprisingly, he did actually acknowledge him as if he was an important figure in my life. Perhaps he is. A son in law or merely , something more than that. They chatted for a while and then, Ashton asked me to go ahead first. I had no idea why but getting the cue from him, I followed, obediently. Before he sent me away, here comes the best part of all, he leaned down, and kissed me lightly on my lips and right there, my dream ended, as I gazed him away through the front porch of an anonymous house. Can u imagine how would I feel waking up to a dream of your most desirable man in the universe? Great huh? I think so too. When I was awake unintentionally, I tried my best to go to sleep again but somehow, it didn’t turn out the way that I wanted it to be .My fault anyway, I snoozed in between Asar and Maghrib. It was the Satan's work and I, being weak, played along with it. After all, I had something magical to hold on to. It happened when I was just 17 and now, here I am at 19 years old. Still, I could remember ever little detail, vividly. Maybe , because I was hopelessly in love with him. We did nothing but left me smiling, practically for the whole week! The part that made me respected him more was that he didn’t take any advantages while we're together and he acted very maturedly. Yeah it was just a few hours but the effects were magnificent. He made me laughed without trying too hard and obviously, it worked. He cared about my feelings and it is his intention, not to hurt me. Mostly, he made me feel safe. He provided a sense of security by being with him. I had nothing to care about but him .I guess, that’s when you know, you love someone, more than you love yourself. You sit still, doing nothing, nodding your head left and right, giggling endlessly while gazing into each other's eyes, with no spoken words, physically touched with no obvious intention, cherishing every awaken moment of it and most importantly, being comfortable in your own skin. When you know, you'll just know but since for me, it’s just a dream with my Ashton in it, it’s just a matter of infatuition!