Khoo Cheng and Cat.

Everyone around me knows I don't like animals. I mean, I have no mushy-mushy feelings for them. I see them around, that's it. I wouldn't go and touch them. We have never had a pet in our house, until someone gave a little kitten for my mom to take care of it for a while. After some time, I think mom refused to give it away so, she kept it with her. For one moment, if you look at how she treats the cat, you might think that she loves the cat more that she loves us, the kids. Haha. She dotes on the cat, excessively. But, I guess later on, everyone fell in love with the cat. I think this is a miracle for me, because I don't like cats. Period. There was this one time, we wanted to go to Sea World, and right before we went in, I found out that Sea World is like a mini zoo, with lots of animals. I texted my mom, thousands of miles away to ask her, do I really have to go to Sea World then, if it's all about animals, which I don't like. Mom asked me to go along with it, so I did. But I rarely touch any animals, I think the penguins stink, and the dolphins are toooooo slimey for me to touch. Geli la. Btw, I've never been to the zoo. I can't find a reason to go there.

Anyway, our cat is big now. He is such a tame little cat, that I don't think he knows how to cross the road or even knows how to 'meow'. Told ya, mom dotes on this particular cat. He might be a tame cat, but that does not change the nature of a cat. She met with a female cat, and did what other cats do, and the female cat got pregnant. Mom thinks that, it is her responsibility to take care of the female cat, since she got pregnant, by our cat. Haha. Later on, the female cat gave birth to 4 little kittens. Of course, mom took care of it like it was her 4 children. She wanted to name them, Adam, Jasmin, Aiman and Athirah. Haha. But out of those 4 kittens, there's only one girl and unfortunately, I gave her the name of Kaka. Don't ask me why Kaka. I've always wanted to name something, Kaka. Something. A pillow pon boleh.

Long story short, one day, another kitten was at the font porch, wanting some food. Mom took care of that one as well. One morning, she found the kitten stuck with the mice trap. The mice trap was in the form of black glue. So, imagine the little cat had glue all around her. Feels like bubble gum, stuck in your hair. That's how it was. Mom took care of the cat, and put that one tiny kitten inside those 4 kittens' cage. I guess, the others felt jealous and they went for a walk and they never came back.............................................................................

Or, probably, someone snatched them away. It has been 24 hours since we found out that they were gone. I didn't know that I would actually feel something when they are gone. The house is a bit quiet. No little kittens playing around, but I really pity my mom. She keeps on shouting, "Babiesssssssss......." at the backyard, waiting for the kittens to come back, even the female kitten, is screaming and looking for her off springs.

I like cats, I am watching Korea, now, what else? Am I turning into someone else? Probably, after this, I'll eat mayonnaise from the jar. Yucks.

Normal.

What is normal? Can anyone define the word normal? Because right now, everything seems to be too normal, I can't differentiate what is normal or not,anymore.

Luckily memory can't easily be erased.

Just as I was about to type something, I heard a baby's voice, crying. I stopped writing and I had to think whether we have a baby or not in this house. We have baby cats/kittens and that's it. Okay, it is my neighbour's kid. So, now I can continue typing, un-scarily. Is there such word?

I am alone, downstairs, consuming little air from such big space. It is dark outside, pitch black. I should sleep because I need to run errands for myself tomorrow but my body refused to move, even an inch. So, here I am typing and describing every motion that I could capture. These keyboards hold little alphabets that can be combined into meaningful words but on what purpose shall I combine it to be? I feel like writing about so much, but only so much can be written about. I browse through the internet a lot. Finding good materials to read and finding good pictures to see. I like browsing through tumblr. Those pictures that they have in there, are worth a gazillion words. One picture brings one meaning, but with lots of emotions in it. There was a phase of my life, where I would look and stare into those pictures and trying to connect my life with the picture. I will find every possible story I could find within my own memory to make it seem like those pictures have my own story behind it. Truth be told, of course, those are not my picture. I still browse through tumblr, other people's tumblr. BUT now, I am lost. I don't understand those pictures anymore. I try, and I try my best to connect it to my own story but I failed. I can hardly understand those pictures. I guess it's a good thing? I assume it's a good thing.

You don't get what I am trying to say? I get what I am trying to say. That's the most important thing right? I, myself understand me. 85%, not 100%.

I'll continue this when I am in the mood. Goodnight ;)

Bilik tengah Beril.

Happy Holiday everyone! The holiday mood has been switched on, officially and I am happy but as long as my body has not reached Alor Star, I am not living in peace. I sat for my last paper yesterday and that paper was 87942834564238756874574. That is sort of cursing, numerically. Enough of educational stuff. WE SHOULD START ENJOYING OURSELVES !

I've enough plans this holiday to keep me occupied. I don't know whether Mom has got any weddings or not. I don't know when is school holiday. I know that not many people will be in Alor Star but that will not stop me for going back. BUT, I will be home for only a while, more like 10days, before I rush back to KL for a 'thing'.

Anyway, holidays would be just awesome because no books will be touched and I will start making love to my laptop and I have a confession to make. I just started a new obsession. A new obsession yang macam penah cakap kat diri sendiri takkan suka punyalah, then tertengok sket pastu telekat, pastu TERCARI kat youtube, pastu curious, TERGOOGLE pulak, pastu cam tak sabar nak tengok next week punya episode plak. HADOIH! Having a new obsession is tiring. Okaylah. tak la mcm obsession, more like, liking it.

Having a new thing to like is fine with me, but the thing that I like, that I am watching now tu hah yang?!!!!!! OMG! Senang cta mcm ni lah, sorry bilik tgh, aku ter-betray korang. HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Mother.

The one person that brought me into the world. The one person that fed me with her milk. The one person that cleans me up well. The one person that don't complain. The one person that listens. The one person that reads me like a book. The one person that grants my every wishes. The one person that tells me to work harder. The one person that I turn to despite everything. The one person that scolds me hard. The one person that can make me cry. The one person that I love so much.

My most greatest, most awesome, most prettiest super mom!
Happy Mother's Day.
I love you to infinity and beyond.

I wanna fall like this.

And I adore them both, in reality and in fictions.
Seven more days from now.
I shall be patient and wait.
Love Love Love.

#1 Half way.

Even in dark hours like this, never has that one crucial moment slipped from my mind.
It's a concious thought made with zero effort.
I slept with it, and woke up with it.
Even if I stayed up all night, I would still stay awake with the thought of it, at the back of my mind.
Time flies and I should grow up with it.
When the clock hits 12am, I'm older by a day when the 24 hour is up.

Karma.

You know the word KARMA ? Well, I think I just experienced it first hand. Let's not talk about the wide scope of KARMA, because then, we have to go deeper into big big topics like, love and all. I want to talk about karma in life. You know how I love to sleep in class? No, I am not exaggerating when I say I love to sleep in class. I do sleep in class up to the point where, when I wake up from my "power nap" I'll be fresh with mata merah ad marks and lines across my face. I literally sleep through out the class. It's not that I don't respect the lecturers in front, but I just can't help it. The minute they started talking, I started yawning and slowly, I will fall flat on the table and sometimes when I wake up, I can even say "Eh tadi mimpi apa eh?" Haha. Okay, now I sound rude, just plainly rude. But actually, it depends on the lecturer. I don't dare to sleep in my Financial Management class ever, EVER because if I go off wandering, even for a second, Puan Maf yang cantik tu bole detect "Jasmin, berangan eh?" HAHAHAHA Okay, rasanya tak penah kena lagi la berangan tu, tp psal tido definitely la.

Okay okay, back to my main point pasal Karma. I basically slept my way through my Taxation class. Eh chup, Advanced Taxation class. Advanced tu penting. SUSAH LA PULAK KAN! So, I think I got my balasan tadi, when I've studied hard for my paper, then when I wanted to write, I couldn't remember a single thing. Damn it and of course, all the things that I've been doing all this while came rushing back ''-" Sorry Puan. Hehe. So, my conclusion is, don't sleep in class, even when the lecturer is singing you a lullaby. I'll try to stay awake next semester. Yes, next semester but every time during finals, phrases like that usually come out and it ends there. Period. It ends there. Next semester buat lagi. Haha. Tinggal 2 semester je dalam class. Yahoooo! But people kept on saying cherish your university life. I am cherishing it, can't you see? Uhhuhh.

Haa ni la sebab tak le jawab tax. Sekian.

French Vanilla with choc chips and strawberry on top.

I used to have so much words trapped inside of me, waiting for it's time to burst out. I still have plenty of things to say, just that I don't feel like letting it out because the things that I want to say, are not important, nor significant enough that it will change anyone's life. If i were to write things that I don't really mean, then I feel like I am lying to myself, but if I were to write the whole load of truth here, others would make assumption. So, it's better not to write and just leave these pages empty. I used to not have to turn to pictures to explain the things that I needed to say, but now, pictures play an important role for my visual aids here. You can tell uh, I have nothing much to write here. Loads of things are happening right now, but probably not happening enough to be mentioned here.

But for those things that I don't mention here, doesn't mean its gone. It is buried deep down inside and it got lost along the way. 'Mom must be pissed about this if she can truly read between the lines'

These past few days have thought me a lot and the biggest lesson I've learned is that,

I truly know what I need but I don't know whether that's what I want or not. I need, not want.

Ps 1 : IRB? Hello? IRB? Stop messing with my life.
Ps 2 : Just the thought of you, annoys me.

2 down, 4 more to go.

I am supposed to be studying IBM or Law right now, but I managed to squeeze in some time for One Tree Hill just now, Gossip Girl later, and now, I might want to watch Beauty and the Briefcase. It's Hilary Duff. I have to watch it, or else. Or else, I won't be in peace.

As usual, One Tree Hill left me wandering hard. I kept thinking as if they are apart of my life. It's not like Julian and Brooke would walk in through my reality door, but they definitely made it through my invisible back door. The feeling that I get from watching that show, is priceless.

Anyway, I am left with 4 papers and then, I'll be done for my finals and that will a wrap for my Semester 5 and jumping on to my sixth semester. God, I feel old. I'll be done with my studies in one and a half years. Gahhh.

Erase that thought and let's jump to another one.

I am rushing now to go watch my movie.

Bye. I miss my trip to the mall lah.