i lost it somehow,

i really wanna write something now but it is being blocked. i am numb.... i wonder why... i need it back, ASAP.

anyway, since everyone is listing down their work, i wanna list down mine too. hehe

test mkt,
test law,
test maf,
quiz far,
prsntation mkt ( a big one!)
prsntation law,
asgnment bola baling,
asgmnt mkt,
term paper bel,

i think thats it for now, i cant remmber nemore.
i know, i should be studying and finishing it rather than complaining but i am so malas.

not looking forward to it.

i woke up early this morning with a mission, to go back to sh alam. hahaha. unfortunately, i had a bad stomachache this morning. i was so sick that my mom forced me to stay at home for one more day, so that i could just take the flight first thing tmoro morning. i was not happy because i have FAR's quiz at 8.30am tmoro. something that i had prepared during the holidays. so now, i have to study again. damn. there are only 24 days to finals and to tell you honestly, i am not prepared. from a-z, i'll rate my knowledge at around d. that's how bad it is. and ohh, my muet is on the 23rd of october. at least , it is not on my birthday. but i think that is around the study week. uitm is giving us 4 days if i'm not mistaken for study week and i know for sure its not enough. i need to divide my time carefully and stick to it. 7 subjects to cover in 24 days. i'm dead. hmm. but i cant bring myself to the books for some reasons. i met up with puteri and bear last night. how long since i last saw her?! haha. oh well, raya do gathers evryone up. i cant think about anything else right now other than, finals. finals again, damn. i dont like this.

plus, tmoro, i'll be taking the flight, then erl and ktm. urggghhh. i hate that journey. it is so fucking long. nevermind. i'll cope with it. gdnite ppl.

praise to the mighty Lord

God has planned our life perfectly. it may not seemed like it is well planned but it is. The things that are not what u expected now will be what they are supposed to be later in life. He has made reservations for years to come by booking it now. He makes it seem like as if life is cruel enough to punish you but at the end of the day, he just wants you to learn, to suffer and to pray to him. Praying makes you a different person.i believe so. there has got to be a reason why i am here in malaysia and not in a place where i'm dying to be, there must be a reason why i look more like my dad rather than my mom, there must be a reason why God gave me 2 annoying brothers rather than just giving me one, there must be a reason why he showed me K and then took him away from me, there must be a reason why i am doing accounting and not some other courses. we can all live life optimisticly if we just keep our spirits high and just believe that things happen for a reason. the reason may not be as concrete as we like it to be but if you look deeper you'll find it the inner meanings to it. for now, i'm trying to look things on the bright side and not look back.

there must be a reason why am not happy right now.

ps: i may be less happier now but i am sane enough to know that i got back the 2 precious people that i love and i needed them all along.

raya'08

finally, my family.

a bit of a chaos.

half of the girls. we have more of theseeee

that is my beloved papa. hehe

my first duit raya for the day!

a special meal after solat raya.

jesse mccartney looks like K

the title is true. ahha. im listening to jesse mccartney's song so it led back to the thoughts of the jerk. hey jerk, slamat hari raya! hahaha. kery2. i'll post a pic of him later la to show how good looking i think he is. hahahha. i admit, i fell for his looks rather than his attitude. his eyes are really beautiful. a jerk or not, that's somthing i can't ever deny. ape ni pg2 ckp psal kery??

i'm leaving for batu pahat in a few hours. since our family is the first one that will be reaching our kampung. we have lots of responsibility to do. its ok! its for raya. team spirit. hehe. can u tell i'm so excited for raya? haha. how can u not? food, family, and duit raya. good combination. its an excuse to go shopping. my mom is treating me like an angel i feel really bad. hehe. i am her only big daughter compared to athirah, which is her baby, uhhhhhhuhhh. haha. i studied last night which was quite incredible. i finished a chapter on revenue and more to go. i practically brought back all my notes which is nonsense. i will read one or two but not all. but the guilt i had to carry without the books are much more heavier. hehe. i called nana yesterday, they are all in as, so they went to the bzar, fun i guess ! i dunno.

i have to go now, my mom's back . SLAMAT HARI RAYA TO EVERYONE! maaf zahir and batin.

ps: happy birthday hilary erhard duff!

how are you today?

3 more days to syawal and i'm cleaning up everybody's house like it's my house. how i wish i could be at home and have gathering with my seniors. they are having buka puasa tmoro and they just informed me. if only i could be there guys. anyways, sarah, happy 20th birthday. a day away from hilary duff's birthday. unfair! i'm about to go to the hair salon. my mom has been shouting and nagging the whole day. i am up and ready now but she isn't. she wants me to highlight my hair since it's hari raya. but knowing my hair, its big and curly, if i were to colour my hair today, it will be there till the next 3 hari raya. haha. but i wouldnt change my hair for the world. i am having a break fast feast in bangi today. we can finally meet the new addition to our 'chomat' family. it's a boy! lukas hakim . its a rare event for us to have a boy in the family. the current ratio is approximately at around, 1:4 . four for girls, obviously. haha. i gtg now, or again, my mom will shout. ma, chill la. haih. she said i've been on her nerves all day long. i cant wait to push THE button and let her explode! how come she's fine with my two annoying brothers????

bridge over troubled water.

good morning everyone.
its 4.19am now and i am still not sleeping yet.the guy up there is keeping me awake. he posted new pictures in his myspace profile and i stole it for my own pleasure.
my mind is always filled with an image of kutcher that sometimes i think it's a sin.
to even think about a guy you have never met, its an unbearable sin but there's something about him that is so attractive ( i think so, keep your thoughts to yourself, thank you) that i can't resist

apart from my fantasy, back to reality, OUCH!
i'm doing terribly bad in my studies but no worries, i'm studying now.
paying my whole attention to the lecturers, uhhuh and doing all the works asked but i guess that's never enough if you don't pinch in a little extra effort from yourself. this week i tasted my own medicine and it was not tasty.

i think my blog is a bit boring nowadays since i'm not going through any emotional downturn.
i'm not complaining but it can be too bland at times.
i would like to exaggerate and write exciting things that has been going on with my life but unfortunately, there hasn't been any. i have accepted that the other half of human beings can be rather irritating at times, weirdo and they have their own mood swings, more than 'the other half' and , that simplified my life. though there are a few things that caught my attention lately .
i tend to care about other's a bit too much. say a person is going through a bad situation and clearly, it is beyond my power to mend it or say anything, i will feel bad and guilty for that person the whole day. if someone hurt a person , i'd feel bad for them as well. what do you actually call that? compassion is it? compassionate about others? i dont know. it's wrong to feel that way sometimes but i can't help it. it's my nature. cautious and paranoid. i dont know.
another things that has been distracting me in class is actually a game.
Quadrapop!
because of that devilish thing, i hardly talk to anyone or do anything.
it is so addictive and obsessive.
would love to stop but..............................................
hahaha.

keinginan merasa kehidupan orang lain

the title says it all.

i'm just asking for a day.

i dont know why.

it doesnt have to be a life of a superstar or a royalty.

randomly, anyone will do.

i just want to feel.

that's all.

to my baby sister.

i know you are reading this you little weasel! haha. i miss u very much, athirah anis.

a week more to go . cant wait for raya in batu pahat , johor this year. all the families will be there. I CANT WAIT! almost 50 cousins, 20 aunties and uncles, nieces and nephews and ONE grandma. hehe. we'll be sleeping together, eating together. aaaaaa, FOOD! major glue in attaching everyone, as always. this is my first raya in BP after several years. raya in KL doesnt exactly feel like raya because everyone doesnt sleep together the night before. no takbir raya ,no cooking together-gether, no gossiping, no Ramli, no playing UNO led by abg ader and mak nona and no cerita hantu. ahaha. i miss old times. lately, i'm hyper. i think so . no, i hardly get my caffeine. its just me. i dont know why. tomorrow will be the last day of class for ramadhan. but guess what, i have class till 10. i have double period of FAR. hmm, which class should i pick to sleep in ? haha.

yesterday, something happened. i take it as a wake up call for me to study. it didnt really hit me but the thought of failing again scares me, like hell. i have so much ambition that i don't think i would wanna let some crisis i had when i was in my part 3 during my diploma stop me from achieving it. study je la mcm tu. i have one month to go before finals and boy, i have lots to catch up!

i'll be meeting my mom this coming friday. i am thrilled but the fact that i'm not going back to AS is a bit sad because knowing my friends, they'll have a break fast gathering at the end of bulan Ramadhan when everyone is around but i can handle it. its ok. i can meet up with my family and that's the most important thing now.

pn ros is back . i HAVE to concentrate. she's asking us a question " how can you determine allowable expenses?" hmmm. i really dont know. hilary duff's 21st birthday's coming up. a few more days and today's ashton kutcher's 3rd annivasary with demi moore. its been that long huh?? i've been with him much much longer! hahahahah.

surveyy!

1 Whose picture is it that you keep in your wallet?
my friends, hilary duff, my cousins and a pic of me and abu! i should keep a pic of my family kan? hmm.

2 What time do you go to bed?
usually at 1am.

3 What was the last thing you did before filling this survey?
editting my BEL outline for my term paper with lynn.

4 Who's the one you always meet the most?
my roomates and coursemates which happened to be my collegemate and friends!

5 Who's the person you're gonna call if you need emotional help?
mama and my friends.

6 What's on your mind just now?
tomorrow i have no class until 8.30 PM at nite. hmmmmm.

7 what did you do last night?
i watched OTH and GG. it was very emotional.

8 With whom do you wanna have fun?
now would be my cousin. irena bosra pls. come back la.

9 When was the last time you went out to mall?
yesterday. one whole day.

10 What do you hate the most for now?
the fact that when i'm hungry, i couldnt care less about other things.

11 When was the FIRST time you slept alone?
when i was younger. xingat la.

12 What things do you want to do now?
fly off to somewhere.

13 What do you do everyday besides eat and sleep?
watch tv and talk.

14 Colors that make you happy?
pink, white and red.

15 Most favorite things for you?
my phone, my bed and computer.

16 What was the last thing you bought?
apples. haha.

17 Miss someone?
yess. a yeen, balik la cpat, gle!

18 Are you a coffee addict?
sometimes yes.

19 Are you satisfied with your life right now?
not really. i want to do some other exciting things.

20 Would you share a glass of water with a friend?
sure! why not?

21 When was the last time you ate seafood?
oooh. lame dah xmkn.

22 Ever had a food fight?
yes. haha.

23 What do you usually eat for breakfast?
roti canai and milo ais. sedap nye!

24 Lost a friendship over something stupid?
OH YES! bodo sgt.

25 Been really depressed before?
yes. been there.

26 What's your favorite food?
tomyam. mcd. steak.

27 Cried in front of your boyfriend?
nope.

28 Can you remember what you did on the first day of your school in high school?
i was with my friends ,especially my bestfriend' puteri the whole entire day, being stupid. hahaa

30 Did you ever cheat during an exam? erm yes.