Is it possible that after 5 years of taking the course, I feel like I'm in the wrong course? 5 freaking years and still counting, still studying the same thing and I can't even understand a thing right now. Exam is in 6 days time and I can't concentrate thinking about work and when I'm working I think about failing the exam. Okay, lets start with one by one. First thing, about work. I don't handle stress well and that's not new but this time around, I'm just so stressed out. Going into my second engagement, I regret saying yes to it because, it is a big engagement. Many things that I need to know, that I need to remember and I am not even doing the big sections! I should have joined a smaller job in a smaller industry. At least, that way probably the pressure is not so high up the sky. I cried twice last week because I was so scared. Don't even ask me what was it that I am scared of, but when the seniors ask me questions that I don't remember doing, my knees will start to go weak and my ears becomes hot. At that point of time, if you were to ask me what is 1+1, I'll probably can't even answer it. Don't ask me why, I just don't know. All these are giving me daily headache, I hate waking up in the morning. I feel like quitting, all the time and I am jot even confirmed yet! Last week, I even googled 'Regret joining audit' and I am glad to say, after browsing through this anonymous blog, I slept happily that night. One of the comments was saying about 'How auditing made me turn to God'. LOL! Too funny! And another one was saying about how he has been working for 1 year and 3 months and still haven't grasped the whole idea of auditing and he has been passing unknown knowledge to his juniors. Hahaha. God, it feels good to know that I am not the only one. Currently, I feel like I am at my lowest point because last week, I screwed up at work. I always go back to the reason why I am there. I am working at an audit firm because I want to learn. I accept the fact that I am super slow, incompetent but I am willing to learn. Learning takes time I guess but, but I swear it doesn't help when the seniors know that you used to be an intern at that same particular company, thinking that you actually have a clue on what you're doing but actually, you still dont'. BUT they are really nice actually. I should thank my lucky stars that they don't mind teaching me from A to Z or maybe they do but oh well, I should just be thankful. But I have short term memories these days that I don't even remember what I learned last week, please don't expect me to remember things I did a year ago. Haih. I soooo need to catch up but at the same time, I shall not let it get to me. I want to quit.... I've been counting the weeks and I have 144 weeks to go. I'm starting to wonder how the hell did I pass my papers all these while and that leads to the ext topic, my exam. S many things to study, so little time. I know I should go and study now but I just can't. Head all over the place. I lost a kilo from all the nervousness that I went through in the past 2 weeks. Imagine in 3 years, how thin will I be.. Pooof! I'm gone.... I'll give it a year.. I just found out that I'm not a tough cookie. I just... I just don't want to be doing things that I don't like... I don't want to wake up on Saturday, hating life because its reaching Monday already because that's how I feel right now....
3 comments:
Perfectly normal to feel the way you do right now. I screw up big time once when i just joined. I accidently shredded ORIGINAL bank confirmation letter 1 week before partner wants to sign the accounts! DIE okay! tapi senyap2 pegi bank tu mintak another copy.
It's a learning curve. Any trust me, I felt super stupid when i asked client simple double entry like "kalau debit Cost of Sales, Credit apa? Stock ke? AP ke?"
But trust me, after a year, you'll be super smart at all of this. And u'll feel super confident doing anything! at any job! at any company!
Haha Fiza, I can't answer your double entry tu. Is it Stock? Depends on cost of sales ape la kan? I mean, inventory ke ape kan? Damnnnn. Hahah to feel stupid is one thing, tak ingat ape senior u explain masa nak document down tu one more problem. I go to work with a heavy heart and it has only been 3 months. Seriously rasa nak quit selagi tak confirm lagi ni.
I know this is normal but I wonder if I can even handle it for a year... Rasa useless.. I shouldn't have joined EUMI laa. Stress lain mcm... Anyway, thanks Fiza! hehe comment lagi mcm ni. I likee! Its good to know that I am not alone...
Yeah betul..depends Cost of sales tu apa..Construction company lain treatment dia, trading company lain, manufacturing company lain.
But you are right. It's Stock la usually. Claim la comp time byk2, then cuti sebulan! or more..depends on ur comp time. Because Audit is THE ONLY job yg boleh cuti lama2. And Eumi has the highest bonus. So always look at the bright side. If you boleh stay for 2 years, u'll be more marketable outside.
Post a Comment