missing my bff

i miss her most.

*she loves green*

nine.

after a while, things get darker.
everything that has colour turned to be grey.
a mixture of white and black.
after a while,eventually it seems like its the natural step to take.
even the gold and silver tend to tarnish a little bit.
nevermind people.
a saying that goes without any doubt.
PEOPLE CHANGE.
there's so much truth to it that it is undeniable.
i change.
u change.
we change.
how lucky we are if people were t stick to the quote
"you rock dont ever change"
but like the little facts of life,
even the leaf fades away someday
when we reached a certain point of our life, we act maturedly.
probably bound to take the high road.
miracles sometimes do happen.
u flip through the pages of your journey through life and found millions of undiscovered truth.
as u go along deeper, little secrets will be told.
answer to it, PEOPLE CHANGE.

random.

so basically, ive posted some of my writings.
usually i woudnt do this but i thought i could share it with others.
i write stuff only when i feel like doing so.
from my past experience, i was inspired by two of the most important people in my life.
important from another perspective of life.haha.
i just wanna say THANKS for giving me such words.

eight

if once you got hurt by the person you love most in the world,
nothing else in the world is more scarier than that.

seven.

once you loved someone, you can never take back your feelings and your words.

its just meant to be that eventually , u'll get hurt.

no matter how much you love that person,

if he's not yours,

HE WILL NEVER BE YOURS
its a fact thats hard to swallow yet its the truth.

six.

i'm bored like some crazy people trying to get out of their web.

each day is usually the same.

doing the same exact routine on and on again.

trying to find adventure beneath the plain old boring life

but couldnt find any.

hoping for someone to save me but no one came running.

just like what i'd expected.

in this life of mine, i scream and yell at everyone i see quietly ,

with a qustion that remained unanswered.

ive been trying to figure out the answer that's been buring inside my head

again , why am i here today?

i cant really say it out loud.

others will think im crazy enough to do that.

everybody's running around holding hands together.

this is a life full of danger but we are not aware of it.

people wont act their true self.

everybody is afraid of being judged by the public.

everbody is wearing a mask like an angel in the outside where actually they are demons inside.

its too good to be true.

everybody is willing to jeapordize their dignity for the eagerness of having the power to control the world.

five.

As i sit and wonder, what does the world has to offer me?

i tried to think till im halfway blank but still couldnt the answer

As i sit and wonder , is there anybody out there who's thinking if me?

wether its a good thing or a bad thing i dont mind.

im just curious to know.

somehow i wish to have powers,like super power.

to stop the time and world from moving anytime i want

i wish i could read the future as what the future holds for me.

but somehow , sometimes i sit and reminisce about the stupid things that ive done and said.

they said that our past holds our future.

part of me wishes that i could be a better person if i had a better memory of my past.

and the other half wishes that those memory should stay forever as it built who i am today.

i'm glad how i turned out to be and i wouldnt trade it for anyone else.

and though if i were given any chance to change it, i would.

i would alter a few things and undo my stupid actions in the past.

but like i said,i like how things turned out to be.

however, for me ,this is the most difficult part.

i've cried my heart out.

not everybody is who you think they are.

nice in a minute , jerk in the other but in this point of life, this is where we choose who we want to be.

i just wanna be able have an effect or remark on somebody's life before i leave this world.

there are still some uncertainty that i need to find in life that i wont find now but as long as i live, ill try to search the answer for it.

*wrote this when i was 15 in the exam hall*

four.all time fav.

you can find lots of girls around,

who you can flirt with ,

hold hand with,

hug with,

kiss with,

but you will never ever find a girl

with a heart same as mine and

she can never love you as much as i do.

credit to mr bulan for giving me such inspiration.

three.

i wrote these a few months back.to me,its one of the best ive ever written because it was really really deep and meaningful.i meant every single line of it.

"Crossing the ocean sea just to get to you.
i'd walk a thousand mile if i had to.
wandering around the little cottage we used to build together with our memories hanging down the hall.
just the thought of you,being away from you,makes me feel suffocated.
feels like there's no air for me to breathe.
it may be just some words for you but i guess for me,its everything.
my world revolves around yours and i have no intention to change it.
out of all the things i wish,i i wish for your happiness but trust me,i know you best.
i am wishing badly , upon a falling star, i wanna be yours someday.
no harm in hoping no harm in wishing.
may these little words dont irritate you as much as the butterfly in my stomach does.
a good friend i promised to be but this is the hardest hurdle of all.
seeing you over and over again.falling for you all over again.
its not the right thing to do but at least in my broken heart i know its the best.
for the time being,its comforting.
at least its the only thing that keeps me alive and strong.
holding on to your lies with a courage to move on.
God created and sent you to me, with a strong reason to show me that there's still

kindness in this world.

giving me hust a taste of how an angel would treat me.

an angel treats me good.

heavenly.

i wanna be the girl for you.

let me be the reason you're heart is beating every single day of your entire life.

just the thought of you can make me cry a river.

ill even cry an ocean for you and i really really mean it."

two

i was trying to write something obviously about a particular someone but somehow i just cant get it right.so i just ended it with whatever that sounds like it.

"he is what i called as perfect.
he is what i have been longing for.
it didnt took me long enough for me to fall for him.
but the time that i took to get over him could last forever.
if i were to list down all the things that i adore about him,the list could go on and on till infinity.
perfect.
thats what i've always labelled him.
nothing else would match up to his attitude,way and looks other than that word.
if i could dream about a guy,and only one guy for the rest of my life, i dont mind dreaming bout him.
not at all.
the way he looks pleases me.
the way he smiles makes my whole body shiver.
the way he holds his composure makes my heart go wooo.
the way he talks to his mom makes me feel like marrying him.
the way he walks makes me feel secured.
but most important of all,the way he loves his girlfriend,makes me feel like i've found the right one.
as odd as it seems,its true.
he was my bestfriend.
i could go on forever talking bout him.
but still,its not my fault after all that love couldnt find us."