The funny and yet most hurtful thing is,
you were the one that taught me how to not miss you anymore,
so pardon me when at the moment you utter those words,
all I could do was stare in the screen and paused.
you know every thing takes time and I am willing to learn how to miss you again.
but, prove me wrong and please, surprise me with something.
yes, I am asking for it.
Surprise me, even the smallest gesture will do.
Friday, October 09, 2009
cerita dongeng
'This cereal box has everything that you need'
'That's the thing. It has everything that I need, but not everything that I want'
'That's the thing. It has everything that I need, but not everything that I want'
okay, ni cerita dongeng.
dup dap dup dap dup dap
* my heart was racing so fast, I was so scared it was gonna pop out*
suddenly, the car passed by and then,
duuup daaaap duuuup daaaap
* my heart went back to the normal heart beat*
even after all of THESE, it is still that car uh.
yeah, that car.
you don't even want to know which car, because it could have been another car,
but no, it is still THAT car.
hint hint,
not the gray car.
ingat, cerita dongeng.
ps: this new layout makes me feel like posting fantasies and not realities.
reality check on my reality, yeah. reality still sucks.
so there you go. fantasy wins for now.
Always.
I had too much caring for the world.
It was too much at one time.
All I needed was some attention, an assurance that I was loved, by whomever.
I cared about you, as you were very much part of my life.
Seeing you everyday, became the highlighted event of my day.
Talking to you back then, felt as if like you were the only one who can understand me.
More of the opposite of me you were.
I talked too much and you listened.
I was more friendly than you will ever be but somehow you are more witty than me.
You were always on top and I tried my best to follow your trail.
More or less, I did follow you but more on the wild side.
I led you to some crazy mess but you didn’t care because we had fun.
We laughed, cried, talked, gossiped, more than any girl should.
I do worry sometimes that one day, somebody will take you away from me but since you’d always find your path back to me, I kept quiet.
Now, time passes by faster than ever, we are growing up, turning into humans in the real world.
Probably you wouldn’t even notice that I’m actually talking about a person whom I love very much indeed, that at any particular time of a day, I’d take a bullet for her.
Will she protect me and do the same? I don’t think so.
Maybe I’m wrong.
Prove me wrong once and show me you care.
Much can be done to show me that you do see me as someone you really, deeply care.
Enough to make me feel important in your busy life.
There are such things as karma and the world do actually go round.
Mind you, we lead the same life, forecasting the same kind of future.
Out of everyone else in this universe, I should understand you better.
All I’m saying now is ,all this while I made too much effort to keep this thing going and feels like it’s going nowhere.
Sooner or later you’ll be gone, miles miles away.
I should be getting used to this by now.
I don’t wanna get used to it.
I don’t.
Again.
Prove me wrong and surprise me, Princess.
Make up for the time we lost before we’re too old to even remember each other’s nick name.
remember this post? of course I do.
And this was last year.
You made me cry last night,
You made me think,
You made me feel worth it, again and
Of course I miss you for all those lost times,
Of course I love you, always.
It was too much at one time.
All I needed was some attention, an assurance that I was loved, by whomever.
I cared about you, as you were very much part of my life.
Seeing you everyday, became the highlighted event of my day.
Talking to you back then, felt as if like you were the only one who can understand me.
More of the opposite of me you were.
I talked too much and you listened.
I was more friendly than you will ever be but somehow you are more witty than me.
You were always on top and I tried my best to follow your trail.
More or less, I did follow you but more on the wild side.
I led you to some crazy mess but you didn’t care because we had fun.
We laughed, cried, talked, gossiped, more than any girl should.
I do worry sometimes that one day, somebody will take you away from me but since you’d always find your path back to me, I kept quiet.
Now, time passes by faster than ever, we are growing up, turning into humans in the real world.
Probably you wouldn’t even notice that I’m actually talking about a person whom I love very much indeed, that at any particular time of a day, I’d take a bullet for her.
Will she protect me and do the same? I don’t think so.
Maybe I’m wrong.
Prove me wrong once and show me you care.
Much can be done to show me that you do see me as someone you really, deeply care.
Enough to make me feel important in your busy life.
There are such things as karma and the world do actually go round.
Mind you, we lead the same life, forecasting the same kind of future.
Out of everyone else in this universe, I should understand you better.
All I’m saying now is ,all this while I made too much effort to keep this thing going and feels like it’s going nowhere.
Sooner or later you’ll be gone, miles miles away.
I should be getting used to this by now.
I don’t wanna get used to it.
I don’t.
Again.
Prove me wrong and surprise me, Princess.
Make up for the time we lost before we’re too old to even remember each other’s nick name.
remember this post? of course I do.
And this was last year.
You made me cry last night,
You made me think,
You made me feel worth it, again and
Of course I miss you for all those lost times,
Of course I love you, always.
Thursday, October 08, 2009
jadual finals cantek!
There are 26 alphabets in the history of Alphabets but the one alphabet that keeps on ruining my life is always the second one.
B stands for bengang.
B stands for betrayal.
B stands for boleh blah.
But B also stands for the person that will cheer me up soon.
B........................................EEYYYYOOOONNCCCCEEEEEEEEEEEE!
hehe.
yeah, I am bengang because I just got betrayed and that person boleh blah but I know beyonce will be there for my birthday!
haha.
yeah, B people. B!
B stands for bengang.
B stands for betrayal.
B stands for boleh blah.
But B also stands for the person that will cheer me up soon.
B........................................EEYYYYOOOONNCCCCEEEEEEEEEEEE!
hehe.
yeah, I am bengang because I just got betrayed and that person boleh blah but I know beyonce will be there for my birthday!
haha.
yeah, B people. B!
Monday, October 05, 2009
Your Existence Bothers Me
hello everyone,
i am at beril's while everyone is learning how to make ketupat for tomorrow's class party for raya for our Management subject. Motives are, to see how the whole class cooperate and to celebrate hari raya! oh well, the class cooperates just fine. btw, I dont feel like learning how to make ketupat. I'll be just fine not knowing how to make kutupat. haha.
i seriously need a new phone but the one that i want is too expensive, for now. i am aware that i am still a student and i cant afford expensive luxurious handphones tp teringin ;)
out for now!
nak gi cari duit sana sini.
tp tak reti buat ketupat. so how ;(
Saturday, October 03, 2009
And she said....
".....Lets walk in the streets of LA again. i need a break from Malaysia"
I did not say this.
She did.
We are definitely related.
Cause you can read my mind so well.
Studying sucks.
I can't even tell you what am I learning right now cause I hardly listen to the lectures.
Classes are there just to meet friends and to catch up on gossips and hot news.
Make sure you sign your attendance before you leave the class so that
all the waking up in the morning will be worth it.
I am not eager to study anymore.
Life is empty.
Kosong.
Probably tomorrow will be a better day.
Let's hope so.
But this is like the 'nth' time that I have been putting my hopes up everyday
and as usual,
No changes whatsoever.
Would be nice if you are here so that we can dwell on it together.I miss you, awfully.
Especially when I went back to Beril but I took a set of faulty keys
and at that present moment I thought to myself
'Problems would be solved if she was here. She can just pick me up'
And of course, during moments like this where you realize that
you miss that person so much
through thick and thin.
Still, walking the streets of LA would solve a lot of problem as well.
Friday, October 02, 2009
Abolish Bel pls.
Someone was saying she found my blog and was shocked to read my blog. Because it is not exactly like Jasmin Anis in the real outside world. Haha. Is there such things? I don't know how to respond to that because I am Jasmin Anis from both the worlds, and I do write like this ever since forever. Haha. I don't know how else to say things and I do know that I don't express good feelings as much as I express my down moments. You have more to say when you are angry and sad rather than when you are happy and I guess, when you are happy, you can just snap some pictures and you can clearly see that you are happy but not when you are sad. You can fake a picture but never ever can you fake your words.
"When I found out, I felt like my face was hit by a big brick, my stomach was being punched a couple of times and my heart, my heart was being stabbed endlessly. Literally, that was how it felt like."
Can anyone snap a picture with this kind of caption?
"With that, I looked like the bad guy who wanted to win it all, but when all I wanted was some justification that I actually did exist in your life and somehow, I wanted to know whether there was at least one time, I was the one who gave you some excitement, encouragement, hope, happiness, sparks, cheers and most importantly, I was the one who gave you the feeling of love. That’s why I was feeling so down."
And this one?
If any one of you can, please tell me to how to do it, and until that day arrives, I will stick to the way I know how to write and you guys have to accept that I am jiwang. Haha.
Ps : Those excerpts are the real ones from the real copy of the real folder. So, yeah. Those are real.
"When I found out, I felt like my face was hit by a big brick, my stomach was being punched a couple of times and my heart, my heart was being stabbed endlessly. Literally, that was how it felt like."
Can anyone snap a picture with this kind of caption?
"With that, I looked like the bad guy who wanted to win it all, but when all I wanted was some justification that I actually did exist in your life and somehow, I wanted to know whether there was at least one time, I was the one who gave you some excitement, encouragement, hope, happiness, sparks, cheers and most importantly, I was the one who gave you the feeling of love. That’s why I was feeling so down."
And this one?
If any one of you can, please tell me to how to do it, and until that day arrives, I will stick to the way I know how to write and you guys have to accept that I am jiwang. Haha.
Ps : Those excerpts are the real ones from the real copy of the real folder. So, yeah. Those are real.
Thursday, October 01, 2009
More Than You Know It
The usual scene would be that he will be playing by the river court, wearing a thin light brown v neck t shirt or just a gray jumper with a loose sweat pants. She will be sitting on her big chair, listening to another mix disc from another aspiring artist. He will welcome us to the whole different world with wonderful quotes and one way or another; you’ll be mesmerized by it. She believes in fate and destiny, more than anyone else. He has the most twisted and most complicated theories about girls and will treat those who are not his girlfriend the best. She had always known whom she wanted to marry from the beginning. He had only one best friend. She had two moms. He has HCM, which is a heart condition. She has the tendencies to get cancer, considering her biological mom died because of cancer. He loves basketball. She loves music. He loves her more than anything else. She loves him more than anything else.
The usual scenes vanished as the producer decided to withdraw them from the cast. At first, I thought that it will be fine. One Tree Hill moves along and the rest of the cast will continue to do a great job but probably I got my hopes up too high before everything started. It is not as great as last time. No more quotes from a strange unknown writer, no more cool songs from unknown local bands. No more cool macho guy who reminds me a lot of (,”). No more the Comet. So the bottom line is, no more Lucas and Peyton. They are the back bone of Tree Hill and they are not there anymore. They can be the cheesiest couple but still, Leyton was great and the main point is that, all the fans love them. I miss Mr and Mrs Lucas Scott.
FYI, NO ONE PLAYS BY THE RIVER COURT ANYMORE!
for the moment, this will do ;)
even if they dont say that much words to each other but they are good enough. I mean, Julian IS good enough.
The usual scenes vanished as the producer decided to withdraw them from the cast. At first, I thought that it will be fine. One Tree Hill moves along and the rest of the cast will continue to do a great job but probably I got my hopes up too high before everything started. It is not as great as last time. No more quotes from a strange unknown writer, no more cool songs from unknown local bands. No more cool macho guy who reminds me a lot of (,”). No more the Comet. So the bottom line is, no more Lucas and Peyton. They are the back bone of Tree Hill and they are not there anymore. They can be the cheesiest couple but still, Leyton was great and the main point is that, all the fans love them. I miss Mr and Mrs Lucas Scott.
FYI, NO ONE PLAYS BY THE RIVER COURT ANYMORE!
for the moment, this will do ;)
even if they dont say that much words to each other but they are good enough. I mean, Julian IS good enough.
Friday, September 25, 2009
I do, Do you?
I believe that things will turn around soon enough.
I believe that I am a reckless driver when I am around someone more superior.
I believe that karma do exists and it bites.
I believe that if you build something based on a crime, the thing that you just built might fall since the fundamentals of it is not strong enough.
I believe that patience is the key.
I believe that if you put your parents ahead of everything that you do, your life will be full of blessings.
I believe that if you wait for something to happen and it doesn't happen, then probably something better is about to come.
I believe that money makes the world go round.
I believe in UiTM , though at times, they cant stop to let me down.
I believe that some where down the road, I might still get my chance to study abroad.
I believe that I will earn my gray Swift from my own hard core money.
I believe that some people are just so mean and down right evil.
I believe that everyone is hypocrite in some ways.
I believe that one way or another, we will lose in some games we play, even when we bring our best game forward.
I believe that there is a reason why the writer of OTH is not bringing back Peyton and Lucas even though the story line is kinda sucky without them.
I believe that accountant are very calculative. HAHA
I believe that the truth will prevail soon.
I believe that when you love someone so much, you are just so blind to accept the truth about that person that you love.
I believe that life is meaningless when you tend to make it perfect.
I believe in planning but at the same time, just go with the flow.
I believe that I will be successful in the future. Amin.
I believe that guys who can speak and write in English well are very uberly sexy.
I believe that I will meet Ashton Kutcher one day.
I believe in talking to your mom everyday and letting her know everywhere that you are going.
I believe in being nice to people and they will be nice to you as well.
I believe in cleaning.
I believe in my own words even when others doubt it.
I believe in loyalty.
I believe in Malaysia Airlines.
I don't quite believe that BEL will get you in a good job position in the future. Haha
But, I really believe in prayers and I believe that things happen for a reason, although the reason may not be good but there must be a lesson to be learned at the end of it.
I believe that I am a reckless driver when I am around someone more superior.
I believe that karma do exists and it bites.
I believe that if you build something based on a crime, the thing that you just built might fall since the fundamentals of it is not strong enough.
I believe that patience is the key.
I believe that if you put your parents ahead of everything that you do, your life will be full of blessings.
I believe that if you wait for something to happen and it doesn't happen, then probably something better is about to come.
I believe that money makes the world go round.
I believe in UiTM , though at times, they cant stop to let me down.
I believe that some where down the road, I might still get my chance to study abroad.
I believe that I will earn my gray Swift from my own hard core money.
I believe that some people are just so mean and down right evil.
I believe that everyone is hypocrite in some ways.
I believe that one way or another, we will lose in some games we play, even when we bring our best game forward.
I believe that there is a reason why the writer of OTH is not bringing back Peyton and Lucas even though the story line is kinda sucky without them.
I believe that accountant are very calculative. HAHA
I believe that the truth will prevail soon.
I believe that when you love someone so much, you are just so blind to accept the truth about that person that you love.
I believe that life is meaningless when you tend to make it perfect.
I believe in planning but at the same time, just go with the flow.
I believe that I will be successful in the future. Amin.
I believe that guys who can speak and write in English well are very uberly sexy.
I believe that I will meet Ashton Kutcher one day.
I believe in talking to your mom everyday and letting her know everywhere that you are going.
I believe in being nice to people and they will be nice to you as well.
I believe in cleaning.
I believe in my own words even when others doubt it.
I believe in loyalty.
I believe in Malaysia Airlines.
I don't quite believe that BEL will get you in a good job position in the future. Haha
But, I really believe in prayers and I believe that things happen for a reason, although the reason may not be good but there must be a lesson to be learned at the end of it.
Temporary Post
I never did cry when everything happened but that doesn't mean I don't feel a thing.
I never did say anything bad about you here when everything happened but that doesn't mean that you're an angel.
Once, I told my self 'Let us pass all of this to fate and destiny and just let them handle everything based on their nature and with that, I needed signs and I did a few tests so that I will get those signs and as my wishes did came true, those signs were on my side. So, I kept quiet.
But you. You and your little wild mischievous thoughts and all those crap 'angelic' move you put upfront just to show that you're such a goody goody two shoes when you're actually another satan.
Stop playing Cupid already alright.
Yeah, posting this made me feel as if I am as low as you are but hey, you will always get things done by your way and tadaaaaa, you still get the #1 ranking. Please claim your prize at the end of the tunnel which I can see you fall.
If the past is already done and the present is moving on, then why is it that I can see my past running wildly and smiling in the future?
I never did say anything bad about you here when everything happened but that doesn't mean that you're an angel.
Once, I told my self 'Let us pass all of this to fate and destiny and just let them handle everything based on their nature and with that, I needed signs and I did a few tests so that I will get those signs and as my wishes did came true, those signs were on my side. So, I kept quiet.
But you. You and your little wild mischievous thoughts and all those crap 'angelic' move you put upfront just to show that you're such a goody goody two shoes when you're actually another satan.
Stop playing Cupid already alright.
Yeah, posting this made me feel as if I am as low as you are but hey, you will always get things done by your way and tadaaaaa, you still get the #1 ranking. Please claim your prize at the end of the tunnel which I can see you fall.
If the past is already done and the present is moving on, then why is it that I can see my past running wildly and smiling in the future?
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