Stop frowning.

I  browsed through this dusty blog of mine, I realised that I have nothing interesting to update about. Then, I paused for a while and took some time to think. 2010 was really exciting and to compare it to 2011, this year is really dull. I try not to make it dull but I guess, there's nothing really adventurous has happened.

I wake up around 6.45am, get ready for work, by 7.40am, I'll leave the house, reach the office by 8.30am, work will start right away, lunch is around 12.30pm, in between these hours, I'll look for a plan for dinner, deciding on whether I want to go back to Shah Alam or not, then by 6pm, I'll leave the office if there's nothing else to do, or I'll stay a bit longer if I have things to do. I'll have dinner with my friends, my cousins, my family and I'll watch a movie or the tv and get ready for bed.

That's the routine everyday and no, I don't see anything exciting or interesting there but things do become exciting if the people you encounter in between is exciting enough. Lunch is alright. I try to make dinner more interesting but when you're tired, then nothing is actually.

Before, I was excited as hell to go see Taylor Swift, then it happened and it happened so quickly. And now, I am not that excited to go see Bieber because it'll just be like Taylor Swift's concert. It went by like a breeze. I need to do something exciting so just I can write about it. Haha.

But oh well, my life is not that bad. Just not as emotional as before. That should be a good thing I guess rather than talking about the same old topic around the same old boy but wait, I still do that. HAHAHAHA. But more like for fun :D

Ahhh, life is good. Life is alright. Don't fret.

We are all trying to grab the title of......... "Super VT"

Tomorrow is the 11th of March and if I can still remember precisely, I started going to the client's office two months ago. The night before I went in, I could hardly sleep. It was supposed to be the first day of my career, ever. I did not know what to expect but still, I ventured into the field with an open heart and mind. I remembered calling my manager, asking her where to park the car and whom should I go see. I came in, looking blur as ever, I passed a document that I brought from the office to another senior and my work started. I learned how to operate the photostate machine properly. I had to remember a password to do so. Then, I had to make a copy of a bundle of files, which in total was almost as thick as 3 Oxford dictionaries. The client looked at me like as if I was one of the auditor. They were perhaps.....impressed. I wasn't. Little that they know, I was the auditor's....little.....helper... Haha. Two months later, I still am and glad to be :) Anyway, when it was already lunch time, one of the junior auditor came to me and asked to stop and join them for lunch and at that moment, I kept thinking to myself, "Wow, they really take care of their interns," Well, they take care of each other. They make sure everyone eats their lunch. We walked outside and since then, we've been crossing the road together in order to get to the other side to have lunch. I eat my Malay food, they eat their Chinese food. I don't sound racist here, I am telling the fact, but we eat at the same table. They talk, I listen. Sometimes they ask me a question, I replied with an answer or two. Day in and day out, it was just the same, casually but in terms of my experience professionally, I learned a lot. I can now use Microsoft Excel, excellently, though they will disagree, my friends will agree. Haha. My friends know how much I hate handling papers, and that's the reason why I messed up on my first day. I messed up pretty bad but luckily, one of the junior auditor came to the rescue. Of course, I did stupid things along the way. I did many stupid things indeed. There was this one time, I asked my seniors about some simple debit and credit matter. It was so simple, that she had trouble trying to simplify a simple matter. I asked frankly, and she answered nicely, but of course, they made fun of it later by saying "It's interesting right since she taught you the debit and credit part of it" Ha ha ha. In order for you to get the documents, of course you have to talk to the clients. I hate that part. You have to play nice and smile all the way AND you have to know what you are talking about. I failed miserably at this. I became all sweaty in all the wrong areas. I mumbled slowly, but you have to do what you have to do. One time, the senior wanted me to be a spy for a certain bank. Suddenly, when I knew I had to call the bank to get the confirmation, I started to sweat drastically and my ears became hot. I wanted to run since there was the Director in the room, together with a senior and my manager. I dialed the number slowly and they started laughing and listening to me curiously. I was shy but it went okay, I guess because I got what I wanted. Of course they found many other ways to bully me, but I honestly do it sincerely because I know I have to learn and I don't see any other easy way to do so. I don't love the job but at least, I like it and I admire them in so many different ways. We think they don't have a life but hey, if that is their definition of life, who are we to say anything? I admire the fact that they are so clever. I suppose it comes with experience and time. Where else can you learn to act calmly when the original document got eaten by the feeder? Where else can you learn how to tally up the figure to the cents? I actually like it when there's a lot of work. My brain functions efficiently, without having to go through the heart. Hence, there's no conflict. Hehe. My other friends who are working at the same place get to go to different clients frequently. I've been attached to the same one since I enrolled in. Only there was this one time where they gave me away on loan to another company, but that was only for a day and a day only. Other that that, I've been with the same team for the past 2 months. I learned a lot from them and I will forever be grateful to them for being so patient with my never ending stupid questions, slowness and blurness. Hopefully, when I move on to another senior, I can show them that I am a Super VT! Hahaha 

PS : Now that I am writing this, I realised that I don't have any picture with them :( I've got one more day to ask them tomorrow, but I am too shy....

"Thick as thieves"

Location : One Sentral, Level 9.

Position  : Sitting down on a spinning chair while staring into the screen and typing as fast as I can.

What have I done all day long? I helped my manager to prepare some accounts and I learned how to print, efficiently. Minor thing, yes but if you know me very well, you would know that as much as I love the computer, I hate it just as much. I loathe Excel but now, since I am slowly mastering it, I began to actually like it. Lunch was exciting today, since I went out with a bunch of people I know. One classmate, one person I met in the shuttle on my way to the building, one girl I knew from my brother and a few seniors from Uitm. I can understand what they talked about. That's important.

My days and nights are all over the place right now. I can be in Shah Alam for a minute then, I might be in Ampang the next minute. It's not about whether I want to go to those places so much, but more of a responbility. I can stay in Shah Alam, but I'll be alone most of the time. If I were to stay in Ampang for long, I don't really have a room to call my own and all my things are not there. Shah Alam feels like home. It's the closest thing that I have right now.

Sleeping has been never been a problem but lately, I can't just sleep whenever I want. I can't. That's sad and devastating. I want my sleep back. I want to put my head and rest in ease.

Wishlist#24 ;

It should have been like this.

Wishlist #24 ; Go see Taylor Alison Swift live in concert, anywhere in the whole wide world.
Check.

She was awesome. She's got lots of pimples on her forehead. She sings better now and even better than in her album. She is tall. I mean, tall. She cannot dance. She is an entertainer. She let us down by going back straight to her hotel and left us waiting there in mad crowds. She didn't sing her old songs. She didn't sing Last Kiss ( my favourite song ). She is the best.

I would like to see her again someday, in concert again.

December, thank you for everything.

Puteri's 21st birthday :)

Barbecue,  just because :D

Christmas in Singapore :P

The month of December; The month of doing nothing :)

All kinds of thinking were kept to its minimum,

all kinds of entertainment were stretched to its maximum.

I had a blast this holiday, regardless of everything.

I am thankful for it, Alhamdulillah.

December. The month that I did nothing but lazed around town.

It's dark in here but I feel the sudden urge to write things here. Twitter can only swallow 140 characters and sometimes, we need more than that, you know. Right now, I need a pen and a paper or perhaps, a keyboard. I got the latter one. I'm good. 2010 is coming to an end. I don't know what about others but I close down my years with a big curtain. A good year should be remembered just the way that it is. A few good trips to the hospitals, never ending hang outs with good friends and family, great lessons and experiences here and there, flew around the globe to get a first hand experience on amazing things, rekindled some friendships and whatever kinds of ships, fell out of love ( I think and I hope so) and managed to stand n your own without the presence of your parents for a month.

I remember the years in my life with events, the ones that I've captured in my mind, the ones that I have engraved in my heart. I'm not a computer, I forget a lot of things but those things that touched you shall always be apart of you. I'm no angel like someone has said to me, sarcastically. I do sins and I pray for forgiveness from Allah. I have flaws and every year, or just every day I learn to improvise them. I am far from perfect. I can't walk on water. I don't float around on air. 

2011 will be just another 365 days for me to look forward to. There will a new journey that I'll embark on the very first month. I have no idea how it'll be like but I will try my best to do it, gracefully. I shall complain but perhaps, I will understand the real world better. 

Enough of rambling, pictures will be posted soon to show how my December looked like :)

Grey.

Calm as you always are, you stood there coyly, in blue.
I sat there watching you, reading every line that I could. 
I couldn't.
It was as easy as that.
I painted the holidays with every colour I could find.
But, I refused to paint it grey.
I can't interpret that vague little ordinary colour.
Perhaps, or just perhaps, I am tired of interpreting it.

Like a firework show.

I've written many posts that once I'm done with them, I'll just hit the "Save" button because I feel like I'm telling a story that is not important, that doesn't bring any meaning to anyone, even none to yours truly. So, sometimes, even when I've written more than half a page, I'll just delete them. All I needed was an outlet to let them out, if anyone reads it, that's a different matter. Just an outlet to speak up. 

I am left with 17 more days before my holidays end. Should I be worried? I guess so, but I am focusing on making the best of the last few days of this amazing year, 2010. When I say amazing, I mean amazing. Great stuffs happening at the beginning of it, in the middle of it, and now, we're reaching the end of it and I'd say, things that I didn't expect to happen, did happen. I don't wanna start emphasizing on what great stuff, but take it as I wrote it. Great stuff indeed :) No, I am not getting married. No, I didn't get a 4 flat. No, I didn't get an Audi. 

So, guys, enjoy your last bits of 2010. I managed to turn it around and had fun this year. How about you?

It flutters around.

It flutters around and kept making the sound, that sounded like nothing.

Those butterfly flew around freely, some in a garden, some in a building 

and some flew frantically in someone's stomach. 

I saw a white butterfly with black little spots,

I caught it with my bare hands, 

and I swallowed it. 

So, now I have a butterfly in my stomach. 

Does it flutter around in there?

I guess so and if only I have the guts to kill them, I will do so but sadly, no. 

I love 'em butterfly. 

#oldstuff 1

Put your feet on the ground and lift up your head high.

Keep your eyes straight and fix it right to the sky.

Forget your past and move on with your future.

Live it up to the greatest moment in your present.

Leave the past that gave you heartaches,

Leave the past that made you cried,

Leave the past that brought you down,

Leave the past that made you feel low,

Leave the past that ate you up inside and left you only sore bones,

Leave the past that made you felt a loser,

Leave the past that made you go haywire,

Leave the past that made you lost your appetite,

Leave the

March 6th, 2009. I can't even finish the sentence back then. 

I feel like I owe this blog a few posts. I can't write anything now, so I think I'm gonna start posting things that has been in my laptop for a while.