Goodbye October. You've been nothing but a blast!

Hello people of the bloggerworld. I know its been a while since I last updated this little diary of mine. *blowing off all the dusts* The month of October went by so fast, I had to force myself to take a mental image of everything but now I am regretting it because I miss every single moment of it. 

I went to the place that I've been longing to go again, each day of my entire life and so my wish was granted when I joined SIFE. A little organization in UITM that made such impacts in my life. 

Anyway, I think I'm not gonna let words describe how was LA, but I am gonna let one picture of the scene I had in my mind to describe it. This is how I see LA, and this is how I wanna remember it. Nice and pretty. 

The month of October was beyond amazing. I had an awesome birthday. My cousin, Fiza did a great job on writing it on her blog. Check out her blog if you wanna see it :)

Its November now, so you know its STRESSED UP time, where finals are the biggest hurdle of all time. 

Truth is, I don't know how to start writing again, for now. Life's been good to me that I don't have anything to complain about :DD

Re-living-it-again

"Things happen for a reason"

That's the line that I plant in my head to keep me going and thank god, it helps but till what point does it help?

I don't feel like writing right now but everything has been going smoothly in life :)

I hope everyone is enjoying life right now, despite everyone seems to be having loads and loads of assignments and tests. Good luck for everything!

Raya is more than just an annual celebration.

Selamat Hari Raya, I wish to all the Muslims readers out there.

Blessed, that's how I felt during the last day of Ramadhan and the early days of Syawal. Blessed with loving family members, blessed with great and lots of food, blessed with the amount of Duit Raya I've gotten, blessed with all the laughters and joy we had over a few days. No, we didn't celebrate it in Batu Pahat or even Penang. I celebrated my first day of Syawal in KL and glad to say that we did that because that way, we didn't have to endure the long hours in the car while going through heavy + massive traffics on the highway. 

I see my cousins all the time, and as cliche as it may sound, meeting them during Raya is so much different. Everybody seems to be in a jolly happy mood and everyone will be talking, laughing and eating non stop. Probably because everyone is on a holiday, I reckon. We had a karaoke session last Raya, and this time we decided to catch a movie at the Cinema. The movie was so good, the HERO was just too good looking, I didn't want to leave him alone at the cinema. Haha. 

All in all, I had an awesome Hari Raya and perhaps, certain things that I didn't expect to happen, happened anyway. It was good stuff coming from other people, but I am just not too sure that the stuff coming out from my side, was as good, or probably as sincere. I hope I was at that time. Took me 3 hours to pull up some guts and hit the green button. It's been too long. Too long.

Anyway, Selamat Hari Raya again everyone :)

Happiness.

At one point of my life, I thought I could never achieve that. For me, it was an overrated word but only few could really tell what it was, or maybe just feel it and be content. I thought to be at that state, you need another person to complete the puzzle. That was my thought, mind you. Perhaps, 9 months back. I was under the pressure of needing the other half to make my life feel complete. Boy, I was wrong. Truth is, I can be happy on my own. I know I am much happier back then, but thing is, I am happy now, as well. I don't think of the things that could have been. No doubt, a year ago, life was exciting but it consumed a little too much of me. I carried my name all around town, but never did I live up to it. I had a body, without a soul. Now, I am a body, with too much soul. Hence, I learned that happiness is a word that only you, yourself can define with different meanings and definitions. Believe me, I was happy then but I am much happier now, on a different level of course. Just that I haven't made it to cloud 9. I hope some day I will because probably, that will be a much a higher degree of happiness.

A milestone.

For the first time, I am accepting the fact that everything will change at some point. Be it for the better or vice versa. Sometimes, we can't change a thing, or an event but we can certainly change how we look at it, but I doubt that we can change how we feel about it. What I can tell you is, I am still the same person that I am when I was 19 years old, 10 years old or maybe 6 but how I view things or think may be different. Bear in mind, the values I hold remain static.

Tonight, I reached my limit and I think, I need to really be more appreciative and take time to absorb things slowly. I neglect some of the things, or persons I really care about and deep down, I am so guilty, its just too much too handle. If only, I had taken the time, just a minute or two to sit down and have a conversation with a dear friend, who was in pain, probably, I wouldn't be sitting here, spilling out my guilt in sentences. My heart would be at ease, knowing that I took a tiny portion of my daily hours to just create conversations, a meaningful one.

I learned something new today. I learned that I need to reciprocate more and I will. Pardon myself, I haven't reached 21 yet.

With sincerity, of course.

Holiday season kicks in, AGAIN! We really need to count our blessings on the amount of holidays that we get each year, or even month. I know I am :)

But of course, along with the holidays, assignments will tag along, excessively.

And gatherings, be it family or friends. I love gatherings and all, don't get me wrong but having to go from one place to another, is sometimes, a hassle.

But this special time drops by only once a year in the calendar, so why not make the most out of it?

Apart from that, everything else just kinda falls into place, perfectly. I'm loving it, Alhamdulillah.

Anything else? Oh yeah, I dreamed of Hilary Duff last night. Haha.

And of course, Selamat Menyambut Ramadhan for the last few days :DD

What's with the face?

I know you're saying/asking/mumbling things like "Why do I have to post this picture?" and my answer would be "He is so cute. Period. Its my blog anyway." HAHAHAHAHAH Now I feel like having whatever that he is sipping there. Oh man, you don't know how badly I wanna see you. So bad.

Lightnings don't strike the same place twice.

I am looking at everything in a bigger picture with a wider scope. I don't know whether it is a good thing or not but because of this view in life, I tend to forget about the small things. Small by definition would be things that are not significant but its the small things in life that will make up for the big things in life, isn't it? I need to knock my head once, against the wall and get my feet back on the ground. Life has been floating itself towards the direction that I want but its pulling everything away from me. Literally. Literally speaking. I know its like I am speaking French to everyone right now. French, a language that I am supposed to at least, understand a bit but heck, I don't.

I am looking for signals, for hints, a couple of it maybe. Signals, for me to know that I will be fine one day. One fine day. I need things to fall into place because God, everything seems so good right now, the wheel might turn around one day and I don't wanna be at the bottom again.

4 and a half hours later, here I am.

Oh hi there. Finally, I stumbled upon a map that led me here to my own blog. How long has it been? Long enough that I need to make a few shout-outs here.

1. Congratulations on your magical wedding, Hilary Duff & Mike Comrie. I know this is a tad too late but please do know that I feel like as if I was present at the wedding with constant tweet from fellow HilaryFans as well. I got tweets saying things like 'The wedding is now' Haha. Ooo, of course I was there at the wedding but I missed the cake ceremony :P Anyways, I can see how happy you are now that you're married, you said things like you can.....bicker? Oh wow, you have to get married to fight now? Haha. I love you, being single or married. Haha.

2. Selamat Menyambut Ramadhan. ?? I know, it's the 15th day of us fasting already but it's never too late is it to at least wish, or at least fast? Haha. This is my first time fasting and sahuring at home today :) Athirah wants Nasik Goreng Cili Padi for sahur. Yummeh! Anything that mom cooks will do :)

3. Since I am at home, no more Nestum for sahur, for breakfast, for lunch or supper for me !

4. I guess, busy is my middle name now. I don't know is it whether I don't know how to divide my time properly or what, but one minute I'm here and the next, I'm there doing something else. I am risking my second last semester of studying properly but I hope it's all worth every second of it. Keeping my fingers crossed :)

5. I still haven't gotten any placement for my internship next year, starting January and slowly, I am freaking out. Its already August and September is stepping in real soon. I need things to fall into its place. Soon. Real soon.

6. I am at home. I am happy.

Crime Offender.

Waking up early everyday is not an easy task and yet, it is the task that has to be performed every single day, for the past one month of my life. I can't remember the last time I get to see the clock hits 12pm when I open my eyes. I would like those moment to reappear so that I know, my life is as normal as it has ever been. With hectic days and schedule, balancing out my studies and social life I can't entirely say that I am not enjoying it because I am. Suddenly, it hit me that this is my last semester before I venture into internship and we will all be busy as hell and we won't get to spend enough time with each other and sometimes I feel like I am pushing my family, cousins and friends ( Alostar Friends) for a while but please do know that I miss you guys so much. I look forward to every occasions or gatherings but time is never enough. How I wish there's at least 36 hours in a day and that we have a stop and resume button so that when we want to pause and take a deep breath, we can just do so. We can't and that's just too bad. So, what we have is now, and what I do have tomorrow is reading test for french and a quiz for my accounting subjects. Nice. Last weekend was nice as well. A getaway to Port Dickson with almost all Sifers :) Perhaps the place was nice, but it was the people around it that made it 'funner'.Our class BBQ was supers as well. I think I ate half a goat on that day. Haha. It was extremely delicious. Unfortunately, I didnt get involved in the camwhoring session which had a total of 700 pictures as the outcome. Haha. BBQ may seemed like a simple thing to do, a sleepover may seemed like nothing but we are running out of time now, and all we can do is grab every second of it and cousins, if you are reading this, especially Elisha and Deanna, I would love to meet up with you guys this weekend, provided that UITM has some sympathy for me :)

ps : Thank you everyone for the lovely days, that I've had since the past few months :)