ahead of us.

i'm really really bored here.i'm scared thinking bout the new semester because by looking at the subjects we're taking, my God! it is scary.we have marketing , commercial law and taxation.yeah, FUN! i can't wait. learning new things such as costing,last semester was a nightmare and now the nightmare is tripling up. how i wish studying would be easier. plus, i'm turning into this freak. i don't like it. i used to not care about my results as long as it is fine, im ok with it.now, i strive for the best only. as if i cant accept any other grade other that A and its not like i'm getting only As. i'm not proud of it because it's a burden.i wanna be carefree.not caring about anything else except having fun. i like it when i have other things occupying my mind rather than studies. that's why i love to brangan. it takes you to a place where you can be who you actually want to be. and now, i don't have any feelings for anybody. i feel empty. it's hard for me to like someone and it's harder for me to let them go.it took me 4 years to let go and get over Bulan and i was miserable during that time. my biggest problem is that i like to hang on to something that's not even there while hoping it'll come back. i need to snap out of it quicker.it is better to not like someone but where's the challenge. hmm. i used to come back home, with a nervous feeling about wether i'll be catching PHC484 along the roads in Alostar. will he be around? perhaps at Mama, 7e, at convent fetching his sister up . i like the tingling feeling but it made me half way nuts. so , i'll resort to the internet. that's why i find it very peaceful when i can watch the fan made video of hilary duff, or her podcast, reading her blog.haha.nonsense yes i know. but it made me very very happy. because of her,i had a vision. i wanted to go to the States so badly because i wanted to see her. my mistakes was i met her too soon. if i hadn't met her now, at least i would have a real mission, to see Hilary Duff. so another mission for the future guys, is to meet Ashton Kutcher. i don't know how i'm gonna do it but i'll try. he know's i'm alive thats for sure. he once replied my comments at myspace. hahaha. it was him, i can feel it. dun argue.it's him.