emotionless.

im trying to look for something tonight but i failed. more than ever i wanted to feel something but im numb. i want to go somewhere nice. really nice that i dont ever wanna go back to wherever i am now. im going back to as next week and i have no idea how to face him. should i go out on usual basis with him, should i tell him that i know the truth, should i tell him im fine with it and he's got nothing to be embarass about, i dont know. what shocked me was that no one knew about us , i mean in as. haha. that was so funny. its been a year now and i thought everyone knew. its not like we are together or what but the fact that we went everywhere , practically the whole town , together , all the time , i thought they knew. oh well, we are just friends and will have nothing more until god knows when. but out of all the guys i know, the one that i have been with , the one that i have been close to, i nvr thought he would do this to me. he , is the one rational one, the whatever-i-say-to-you guy, my 24/7 , my bestfriend and i nvr thought in a million years , he would desert me like this. the part that im pissed os because , it was for some lame , lame , lame reason. GROW UP.