Time flies, no doubt in that. Sometimes, we feel like the time moves so fast that we barely have time to catch up. 2011 went by in a blink of an eye. Usually, I love to sit down and reflect on the things that I have been through for the whole year. It seems like the right thing to do, for you to sit down, reflect back on the things that you have done, the things that you wished you did not do and the things that you wish you had done. On one quiet evening, I tried to sit down and have a talk with myself. Alright that’s a lie. I do my thinking in the shower. Hehe. So I was perhaps shampooing my hair and I thought to myself, 2011 has been a year of flat experience. I enjoyed myself but it was more of a year that I just had fun. I absorbed everything slowly.
After all, I have learned that I used to look back, still checking on the rearview mirror to check on my past decision. I also love(d) to plan ahead for my future, some sort of forward looking method but I forget that when I look back, nothing changes. Those moments turned into memories and there’s nothing I can do to alter it and those future moments can only be left as plans if I don’t execute them, properly.
I don’t move on quickly. I don’t move on at a normal pace. It is not so much about me holding grudges but you know how those memories linger in your head and it is always at the back of your mind. That’s how my mind works, or I guess that’s how our memories work. At odd times, I’ll get flashes of images that I don’t intend to remember. It’s weird sometimes to be remembered of those wonderful memories but when you are so attached to the bad ones, then I do not know how to move on. Best thing about it is, those memories are reliving it self.
I like to imagine things forward. I used to have a concrete plan about my future as I seemed to be so sure about what I want in life but I have to remember that I plan and if God doesn’t approve my plans, He has all the power in the world to put a stop to it or to change it. At this particular moment, I do not know what to do with my life. Yes, I plan to pursue my professional plan after I'm done with my Degree. I am somehow not excited about this. I am just playing along with my parents' choice. I wish I did apply for work because I think I should do it part time so that I don't waste so much time. Then, one may ask, what am I rushing for? My answer is, I don't know but I believe that while I am young now, might as well use all my youth time, catch whatever opportunities in front of me, so that when I am on my deathbed, I don't want to have flashbacks of living a life I might regret.
Oh, I'm back to that boring topic. So, 2011 was a splendid-flat-lesson-learned year. I'm trying to make my 2012 more interesting but it opened its big curtain with my final exams. Tadaa. What a way to remember the New Year :) Hehe but fret not, I can see a bright future from here!
And oh yes, I haven't had those weird dream with you, you and you in it. Is it because I have been so busy that I haven't had a chance to sit and think about you? I guess so.
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