#Z

Here we go, after 7 months of prolonging this agenda I'm finally at the last alphabet but of course, I skipped one, just because. Last night, the name Zayn Malik came to mind and I thought, 'Hey this boy is too good looking, God created his face so perfectly that I think he deserves a post' but then I spelled his name wrongly, Zayn Malek and then within minutes, I got slammed by the Directioners. Kahkahkah! But seriously, he is so handsome, too handsome with his chiseled jaw, symmetrically shaven sideburns, black thick nice eyebrows, oh I can go on and on but the thing is, he is too good looking, that he dares not look into his fan's eyes knowing that they will melt upon seeing him. Urm, very considerate. One girl fainted when he touched her hand at a meet and greet session in the States. Seriosusly, go youtube it. (Zayn Malik girl faint) Crazy, but probably I'll faint too if Ashton Kutcher touches my hand, or maybe I'll faint right at 'Hi'. 

Who wouldn't faint when this guy touches you? Hahaha and this is not even a good picture of him and yet, he looks so good. Haih. But I'll drop dead if I see this one. 

                                                                             Hi ;')

Now, this post is actually about something else lah. #Z is about zoo. A place that I bet everyone has been to but I have not. Evidently, it is because of my lack of interest towards animals but now that I am older, I do feel like I missed out a bit during my childhood. If I were to list out to the animal places that I have been, its quite acceptable. I've been to the mini zoo in Melaka where it has crocodile and some other reptiles. I've seen Orang Utan when I was in Kuching. I've been to Sea World in Houston. If I were to accumulate my experience, probably I've (almost) been to a zoo and not to forget, my house with 8 cats at all times but I have not been to a proper zoo. 

My friends promised me that they'll take me there one day but do I really want to go there? Hahaha or am I just going there for the sake of 'Yes, I've been there, done that!' Urm, actually. Yes. One day, I have to go to the zoo and I hope it won't be until the day where I'll be taking my own kids to the zoo and they'll ask me, "Mama tu binatang apa?" "Taktau la sayang, Mama pon first time datang sini" LOL! Noooooooob! 

                      That's me trying to kiss a fish. No fish came near me. Mission aborted. Haha. 

Lately, I've been going to the local attractions in KL. Probably because I know I can't go abroad for a long time, anymore, might as well make use of what is here. Hihihi. Since my exam was done by the 20th of June, I was free like a bird after that. So, I googled 'Things to do in KL' and a few suggestions came out. For instance, one should visit : 

1. The Petrosains.

Checked.

 2. I-city in Shah Alam. 

Checked.

3. Istana Negara (The old one)

Checked.
(The Istana is open to public now and it's free. Do pay them a visit and you'll see why Malaysia needs a new Istana ;P )

4. Menara KL 

Half-checked.
(We actually went to Menara KL but the price to go up the tower was quite pricey , RM 60 bucks with the 3D rides or something. We were not prepared for it! So, we ditched the tower, took a picture with a pony and went to Sungai Wang instead hehe!)

5. Dataran Merdeka 

Half-checked
(I didn't go down and run freely at the Dataran itself,  we just passed by)

6. Putrajaya, of course. 

Checked.

7. Broga Hills.

Checked.
(First and last eh haha penat gile)

8. Bagan Lalang - Checked.

9. Cyberjaya -Checked

10. Playing Baseball in One Utama -Checked.

11. Bukit Cerakah in Shah Alam - Checked.

12. Pusat Sains Negara at Bukit Kiara - Checked. 

13. KLPac- Checked.

14. Sunway Lagoon - Checked.

Well, that's all that I can remember now. I'd love to go visit :

1. Batu Caves.

2. Muzium Negara.

3. ZOO NEGARA. 

4. Central Market.

5. Setia Alam City Mall (Lame, I know haha ) but they said it looks like Westfield. I looove Westfield.

6. Lake Garden.

That's all for now? I bet you guys are questioning why am I doing this? You know why? I've got all the free time in the world now. I'm free 6 days a week and my class is on a Sunday. Wasalam!

Turning 23 years old soon and my mother still buys me pyjama pants, I should be thankful aren't I? Normally, I would have picked a more serious design and my sister gets a funky ones, to match our personalities (puke rainbows) but this time around, I decided that we should get the same pattern but of course, different sizes. Huh! One of the things in life that are planned, but what about those that happen coincidentally? Are there such things? Of course there are but how far can we see one thing, event, moment or thought as a coincidence and not a sign? Too much coincidences have made me a very confused and puzzled kid. Too much interpretations of it made me seemed like a girl who lives in her own self-made fantasy. Live moderately with an average amount of fantasies and dreams, I have tried and frankly, its a bit boh oh ring but its doable. But sometimes, just sometimes, when those coincidences or in other words, something that you did not plan to happen, happened right in front of your bare eyes, you can't help it but to take it as a sign from the universe. If only I have the courage to use real life examples here, I don't. So right now, in this limited amount of cyber space given, I shall just leave an abstract thought, for the concrete ones need to gather its courage for it to have its own post. InsyaAllah, some day. Salam Nisfu Syaaban ;)

#Y

One of those nights where I feel the need to create a line or two, be it right or wrong. Weather seems so chilly these past two days, the air-con controller can be chucked aside, comforter seems like the best hiding place. Strolling around town with the windows down, one might have thought we're in London for a second, especially when the car passed by the mini I-City in front of Masjid Zahir. Life seems so easy in Alor Setar but literally, it is easy. 

Growing up, I have always had both my parents at home, all the time. Since both of my parents are academicians, its rare for them to be working at night. So basically, they are at home by 4pm. During my primary years, my siblings and I took the bus to go to school and when we entered into our secondary schools, my mother will send us to school and my father will pick us up, occasionally but mostly, my mother will pick us up. In the evening, we will be sent for our Quran classes, every single day and at night, time will be spent at the tuition centers. In between, we will go for swimming lessons, movies, hang outs and more. 

It was not easy but it is sufficient for my growing up needs. From what I remembered, I had great memories because my parents were always around to teach me how to read when I was 4 years old, to wash my plates when I was 5 years old, to sweep the floor when I was 6 years old, to take care of my little sister when I was 7 years old, to lock the house when I was 8 years old, to start praying properly when I was 9 years old, to start fasting when I was 10 years old, to play badminton when I was 11 years old, to study hard when I was 12 years old, to behave when I was 13 years old, to not follow the wrong set of friends when I was 14 years old, to not get attached to a boy when I was 15 years old, to not go against your own parents when I was 16 years old and to choose the right path for my career at 17 years old. 

Those are some of the things that I can remember vividly. Mom has always asked me to be careful when it comes to mingling with boys, extra reminder to not be attached to a guy at a very young age and every time I am close to a guy, those words will come banging in my head. Yes Mom. I wish my parents would have told me the significance of praying daily, rather than asking us to do so and punishing us with a belt when we did not because to understand something and to do it seems more reasonable rather than to do it without knowing why. Its those little things that get stuck in your head, for a longer time. Of course, now we all know why.

A normal conversation between my friends and I will always stumble upon whether do we want to settle in Kedah for good when the right time comes? To be honest, I do but with all these visions and missions(WOW!) that I have in life, it seems unfair for me to discount them when I make those decisions. At the end of the day, it is my life but I want to be able to be there for my future kids later, just how my parents have always been there for me through thick and thin, throughout my stupidest decisions and the wise ones. 

Conclusion of this post is... Haha.. I wish I could just stay here because life is simple here but there's nothing much to be offered here other than the food is much more cheaper here, houses are of course, cheaper, but at the end of the day, it is your life, your say. Pretty much, you have to choose the life that will make you happy or at least, not miserable. If you're happy single, so be it. If you're happy being a workaholic, then be it. If you're happy going out with a married guy, so be it. If you're happy with 10 kids, so be it. If you're happy riding a motorcycle, then be it. 

It's 1.25am, I am still deciding whether I should perform that endoscopy procedure or not. Honestly, life here feels right. 

#X

I cringe a little when the letter X is next in line and I ponder why did I start this alphabet posts because it is so hard to come up with a suitable word that starts with X. Haha but not to worry, I managed to recall a conversation that I had with my friends while we had a mini durian feast at Liyana's house. I like the tiny ones with thin layer of durians in it. My favourite! Anyway, while we were eating the magical fruit and burping its wonderful smell, someone mentioned about the 'X-Factor' game, which was a phenomenon 10 years ago. Or has it been more than 10 years of less? At one point, I was glued to the television because the show is somehow addictive. If one person can make it through one physical activity, then a high threshold has been set. Everyone else should be able to do it too because it seems feasible. 

It is only normal that when you're watching the game, you immerse yourself into the game, fantasically.  If that was you in that position, would you have done it? Let's say the challenge is to walk on a rope across 2 building that is 30 floors up, would you? I would not. I could not. I fear of heights. There was this one time when we all went to Genting Highland and I found myself curious about the long queue for Solero Shots, so I joined the crowd. Little did I know that this ride was one that challenges the gravity as it shoots you up in the sky. In those naive moments, I had no idea what it was and the clever little me picked the wrong seat. I placed my self on a seat where I can see the whole of Genting and some parts of KL. Defying the gravity, I should have never done that. If its not cool to be afraid of the heights, then so be it. I don't want to be cool. Haha

Hence, every single time that I watch the show most of the words that are played in my mind would be "Nope, I don't think I can do that" but that's the thing, I have not tried them. So, how do I know that I will not be able to actually do it? If I can survive Solero Shot, sure I can get passed anything right? And the other day, I had an intense conversation with a friend about her job offer, in Singapore. The dialogue started with a question asking me "Would I accept the offer if I were given the opportunity?" Part of me said no and the other half would have said yes. In those moments, I realized that I didn't apply for such things because I did not want to be put through such situations where I will be torn. I didn't apply to go abroad because I didn't want to have any options. I thought by being specific with what you want in life would be easier but gosh, I don't know what I want in life. 

All I know is I want to be the right path where life would be be bearable and not all miserable. At some point in life I thought about the chances I didn't take more that the ones that I have taken. If I had taken that path, how will life turn about? And because of the path that I have taken, it led me here. After seating for my first ACCA paper, I think I did the right choice by wanting to work because if I were to fail my paper (InsyaAllah I wil not) perhaps I can start picking up on the experience. Well, that is one way to look at it. If I didn't do it, then I will always wonder whether will I be able to work and study at the same time? Its not that I want to do it but sure I am curious a bit. 

Long essay I have written here, I need to let it out. Haha. Oh, X-Factor. When I like someone I will always think about why do I like him or have a crush on him? Then the same thing will appear, its the thick eyebrows. Haha is that one of the x-factor? But when you like someone for no reason, thin eyebrows also can :P

#W

There are days that you do not feel like talking, and there are days that you feel like you can talk nonstop, even when the time stops, you can still talk.

There are days where you feel so low, you might think that you have hit rock bottom, and there are days that you feel so high, its either you have had too much of caffeine or some puffs of weeds.

There are days when you know you miss that someone so badly, you feel like walking to their house and just hug them, and there are days when you feel like "I don't know you, why should we see each other?"

There are days where you do not even know what is the purpose of you living on this holy Earth, and there are days where you see the people that you love around you and you found the purpose of it.

There are days where everything gets so blurry, you might have thought that your vision is badly impaired, and there are days where everything is so clear, it is crystal clear.

There are days that you just feel angry, you start to blame the cat for its existence, and there are days where you just feel happy and excited like you have just been asked for your hand in marriage.

There are days where you just want to curl in your bed all day and night long, not move an inch, and there are days where you just want to go out and move forward.

There are days when you just miss a random place that you have been before, secretly wishing that you are transported to that place, and there are days when you are just thankful with the place that you are living in at the time.

There are days ( a lot of these days ) when you feel so lazy, you can barely touch any books because you just do not feel like doing so and there are days ( less of it ) when you feel like "Okay, 10 chapters at one go, TODAY" ( Never )

To be that motivated might never be the case for me but this time around, I have got to stop fooling around. Of course I want to pass my paper but at this point, the want changes into the need. So, let me rephrase the sentence. I need to pass my paper.  For it to be underlined, bold and italicized, I hope the message is rather clear.

I am trying to find a few days where, my WILLPOWER overrides my laziness and with God's willing, I shall pass the paper.

And today, I think I did :)

#V

I am so careless, I deserve a tight slap on my face. Haha no, seriously. This past week, I have been signing documents and agreements without reading it first. So much for being a student studying professional courses. Pfttt! Read Jasmin Anis. Read what is on the paper. Do not just read things in between the line. Read what is clearly infront of you. Read to enhance your knowledge. Read to understand the gist of it. Read in order to understand the mechanism of something. Read, just because. Okay, I get it. Just read then. I always go through such thing, then to make my self feel better, I will create a story behind it. In this case of my own nightmare, I am trying to conclude that perhaps God wants me to find other jobs with a work life balanced. Ha ha ha. See, how I twist my own mind to make it seem like itS is okay. Sick, I am. Careless, very. I am in a very vulnerable state. Tskkkk. Not. Just a bit cuckoo.

No title.

"To fight against what I'm feeling, that's tolerable but to fight against what is written, that's impossible."


I go weak every single time I see this quote. My heart explodes. My mind goes blank. Present tense, because it happens a lot. My feelings for you; they fluctuate. 

#U

My heart aches a bit as I am typing this, as the alphabet U makes it appearance at a very special time. U stands for university, the place where I learned a lot about myself, the place where I ventured into things that I never knew I could and basically, the place where I discovered I could do wonders with the ability and capability that I had within me. As of 30th of June, it marks the fifth year that I'll be in Shah Alam. My mother and my brother sent me off at Kolej Mawar, during the orientation week, as I was about to embark on a new journey. Cewah! But true enough, it really was an adventure. 

After 5 years, I learned that I like accounting. The word like is being emphasized here, because I like accounting. I can do it quite well, if I work hard for it but I don't love it. It is not my passion but fair enough, I like it. It has come to my realization that I can never do engineering, never in a million years. To be a lawyer seems alright, until it hits me that I have to be good with my presentation skills. I can talk, but not facts, but crap. To venture into architecture would be out of the question because I can hardly draw a box. So, you get the whole picture. After minimizing the options, accounting seems.. just.. I guess.. But I like it..

After 5 years, I learned a thing or two about friendship, in terms of being one, or just how to look out for one. To be a friend is all about reciprocating and sometimes, it is just about being there. At certain level, the amount that is given and taken, must be equal but it doesn't hurt if you give more. You may never know when you will get the extra perks of going the extra mile for a friend. 

After 5 years, I learned the habits that tick me off easily and the little things that can make me happy. As weird as it sounds, I have to hold the broom every day. I am not making this up, to show to the world that I am the housewife material or such but a few housemates can provide you with testimonials. Haha. It ticks me off that the things that can make me happy is actually when the floor is swept. Ironic. A day is complete when the I've finally made some kind of communication with the broom. On certain special days, the mop makes it special appearance. I have to say, this is the way that my mother has nurtured me and trust me, my future daughter will be going through the same thing :) 

After 5 years, I grew up and it hits me that I am no longer the 18 year old kid, who is still naive about the surroundings, thinking that the world will welcome you with a red carpet outside the gate, with your prince charming holding a bouquet of flowers during your graduation. Scratch the dreams, life is what you make out of it. My convocation is on Sunday and I just received my offer letter to start off my first job. Scary, yes it is. I didn't expect time to pass by this fast but it did. To prove that I have grown up this past 5 years, I will embrace the next chapter of my life with lots of prayers, commitment and a smile. I know what I am getting myself into, I have seen it and yet I agreed to do it. 

After 5 years, I am still the same girl holding the same values, with the same kind of wild thoughts. This blog has seen it all. My university life may not be as interesting or exciting as others but I guess it is sufficient enough for me to look back and say 'I'm glad I took this road'. Friends I made along the way are the friends that always brings out the best in me, places I have been along the way are the ones that I have always wanted to go and the memories that are created are great enough for me to remember forever. And... after 5 years, I can say that I am extremely, passionately and super loyal. HAHAHA. 

After 5 years... Great.... I feel like I just locked myself in a jail cell.....
Good luck in all your future undertakings, Jasmin Anis.
Here's to a few steps before the real world eats you up!

#T

There was this one point in time, where I was certain with what I want. Pushing aside my needs, I focused more on what I want. There was this one point if life, when everything is so clear and vivid, it feels like I could touch it with my own bare hands, but dreams remain to be only dreams if you don't convert it into reality. There's this one phrase that I can't quite comprehend, 'We are seperated for the reason of God' or something like that. I truly don't freaking understand this. Anyone care to explain? There was this one time, where I've truly forgotten what it feels like, and yesterday someone and some event made that feelings rushed back and all I could utter quietly was ' Oh, I forgot how it feels like and I'm not quite sure if its a good thing' Vague, is not even the word for it. More like vanished. I've always thought that it is me who will be holding the trophy at the finishing line but looking at it now, I hope I'll be able to even make it to even make it to the finishing line. This is a straight approach that I'm taking here. No turna or no breaks in between.

#T

They say, time will heal everything. I surrender, I have no idea what this phrase means. Its there, quite clear but what does it mean? If time stops, we will still  move forward isn't it? Or maybe if the time stops, the world will end? Such a simple phrase, with its deepest meaning. I don't understand because it's been 5 years and my heart is still at it. Time moves forward, my feelings are as stagnant as ever. Perhaps I am just being stubborn. Maybe.

Time, is something that I wish we can get a hold on. 24 hours a days seems like such a long time, when you're doing nothing but it seems like the shortest amount of time when you've got a lot on your plate. There are moments in life, where you wish you could travel back in time, to change one simple thing, or two, maybe. Of course, but its the decisions, mistakes and choices that you have made in the past that defines who you are now. 

Sometimes, when you have too much free time, your life becomes unproductive. I'm the living proof of it. I became obsessed with....sweeping and mopping.. As much as it sounds legit, its a waste if time. You know why, because I've got too much time. How many times can you sweep and mop in a day? Pfttt! This Thursday, I've got an interview and the funniest thing happened when I got the phone call. It is our exam week now and since we are only sitting for one paper, the rest of the week is counted as a holiday for us. So, I decided to go back to Alorstar, as usual :) I arrived at 4.30 in the morning and being the normal human being that I am, I slept in till 10 in the morning. A phone call by this company woke me up and I answered with a fake fresh voice, I had to. Hehe. Then, I sounded too confused, I guess that the HR person said, 'Wake up, Jasmin' Ooooh, snap. I just got caught. Timing people, timing. Haha. 

Haih, the time was 10 in the morning, I bet the person that called me thinks I am doing nothing at home, been waking up after 11am since I graduated. I don't know whether I am ready for it or not, but if I don't start now, then when should I start? TIME WILL TELL. Heeee :D

PS : I just told my mom that I want to get married in Alor Star, not in Bangi. Mom said I've got 2 years to go. Must. Find. A. Husband. Now. Now. Now. I am short of TIME. Hahaha!

When you have all the free time in the world.......

And oh, welcome May.